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Feeling so anxious about my "open relationship" If you can c

Feeling so anxious about my "open relationship" If you can call it that, but that's the best way to describe it. I haven't even been involved in this kind of thing before. We are very different people, but are drawn to one another because we connect in a special way (at least I think so). My anxiety comes from 1. taking is slow 2. He travels 90% of the time, hence the reason this isn't a normal relationship.
I'm anxious because I do like him quite a bit, but it's hard not to miss him. I am okay with being open because it removes a lot of the pressure, but my feelings are putting pressure on me. It's hard not to slip into fantasy thoughts, especially after we spend time together and it goes so well. I find myself spending too much time thinking about him and replaying our time together and then fantasizing about when I get to see him again (which is always weeks later). It's heading in a direction that's not healthy because I'm distracted from doing other things and my anxiety is mounting. I need to focus on my personal goals and cultivating other relationships. I really wanted to post in this group because I don't have anyone to talk to about this.

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Nov 7

If it is fulfilling you, then all well and good! I once had a long-distance relationship that did not work out well, so I am biased against it. Reasons: Since it was mostly by phone, I could maintain my fantasy of who he was, without the day to day experience of reality. I too spent a lot of time fantasizing about him, thus depriving myself of having a real life with a real relationship with someone flesh and blood. My suggestion is to simultaneously date, and see if that is more fulfilling or less fulfilling than what you have with him. Does that make sense?

Nov 8

@L2015 yes. That is what I appreciate is the lack of pressure. I can be myself with him and be myself without him. I am able to look at guys, accept dates and do what I want. I do not necessarily want to go searching for it, but if I find someone genuinely interesting, I don’t have to feel guilty. He and I don’t talk or view our social medias when he’s away any longer. This change has also provided a huge relief to me and helped me cherish our time together a lot more. I don’t want to get to keep knowing him through the phone. I want it to be all in person. I want him to be himself 100% and me the same. I feel we are doing that, but appropriately as we are still knowing each other and growing. I will see. I just want to stay open to others while I explore with him so I don’t harm myself slipping into a fantasy world of a life with him that will never happen.

Nov 9

Sounds like a sane strategy! Best of luck.


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