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Alot of times I have caught myself feeling very obligated to

Alot of times I have caught myself feeling very obligated to reach out to a special someone. Whenever i didnt reach out to him he would seem to get annoyed with me because “he had to reach out first” but alot of times when i did text him to check on him he would be very inconsistent with his responses, i feel like if he has the time to post on social media then he definitely has time to respond to me, and i have no doubt at all that he texts other people when he doesnt text me back. i would love to continue keeping our bond up but alot of times i get the vibe that he doesnt care much to speak to me and i dont want to keep texting over and over again after he doesnt respond because then i just seem desperate and i just look bad constantly trying to text someone who doesnt always send good responds

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[280]
Jan 15

Thank you so much, I needed this assurance this definitely helped me out

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Rdan's picture
[10290]
Jan 15

In marriage the Golden Rule does not apply – because the priority of a husband’s and wife’s needs are different. Let me explain. There are generally six needs a man has and five needs a woman has. The man’s #1 need is respect. The woman’s #1 need is emotional intimacy and communication. Man’s #2 need is unconditional love and acceptance, followed - by #3 sexual intimacy, #4 companionship, #5 encouragement and affirmation and #6 spiritual intimacy. A woman’s # 2 need is unconditional love and acceptance, #3 spiritual intimacy, #4 encouragement and affirmation and #5 companionship.
As a male I may not think it is very important to talk with her about my innermost feelings, motivations and concerns as long as I have consistently shown respect for my wife. She does need my respect but that is MY #1 need not hers and I am not even aware she is dealing with my emotional roller coaster, she is often not aware of what my concerns and motivations are till it becomes a crisis. Let this continue for a substantial amount of time and she will begin to lose respect for you and emotionally close down; sexual intimacy becomes strained and the relationship begins to fall apart at many levels. Recognizing our own and each others love needs helps up recognize when our tanks are running on fumes and there is a crisis looming on the horizon. If we ignore the clues we may reach a point where one of us is ready to snap.

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Rdan's picture
[10290]
Jan 15

There is a whole lot more to this I just addressed the specifics

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