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Kind of disappointed in myself for feeling so conflicted but

Chicagonewenglandgirl's picture
[1035]

Kind of disappointed in myself for feeling so conflicted but I ended up talking to my ex who I broke up with back in March since I finally figured out how to settle things that would make me still tied to him so I can finally put our relationship behind me.
A little background on our relationship, we were together for 9 years lived together in a different state for 8 years having 2 cats together. And I was engaged to him for 6 years planning our wedding by the time I had to end things because of cheating on his end.
So speaking to him today I've been alright with moving forward but knew I had to take care of a few things before I can truly move forward. One of those things was selling my car. Living in a different state makes it difficult but I found a way to do it where I don't have to be physically present but I'll still get everything from the transaction securely. He keeps me on the phone for nonsense so I see the opportunity to bring up the break up and he tells me he still feels like he did nothing wrong but felt like I did by moving back home without much of a warning... Then he decides to text me dirty pics and offers to fly me out for a weekend to spend together...
I know the obvious answer is a screaming NO but at the same time I find myself contemplating because I want to see if I can get that closure. But I feel bad like I'm taking steps backwards even contemplating this.

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[1745]
Dec 2

Chicaonewenglandgirl, I was horrified to read your first post and relieved to read your second! You deserve much much better than that old relationship - allow yourself to grieve and move on!

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Chicagonewenglandgirl's picture
[1035]
Dec 2

@Kas1966 yea I knew it'd be a booty call since we both agreed we'd never get back together but itd be an expensive $400+ booty call not on my dime so I guess that played into the will I/ won't I but I'm smarter than to put myself in that position.

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Rdan's picture
[10050]
Dec 8

@Chicagonewenglandgirl Trust your gut instincts. If your gut says no - then it's no. I spent a lot of time thinking with the "small head". Got me in a lot of trouble that really could have been avoided.No one blames you for considering because we all get lonely but you really did well by redirecting. I hope you find a group of folk who have shared interests to do positive things and have fun - that's usually when you find someone who is interested (common interests). Bless you. :)

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