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Hello! I read a little about BPD (borderline personality dis

Hello! I read a little about BPD (borderline personality disorder) and I think my boyfriend has BPD but I am not sure... I will try to describe him. When he upsets me with something, in the first 10-15 minutes, he accepts the blame and he apologises but then, after a few minutes he starts to get angry and to blame me... also, he often has mood swings. I mean, now he loves me more than anything in the world and he is so happy and after a few hours, with no aparent reason, he starts to detach from me and when I ask him what’s wrong, he says “nothing”. He is jealous but he doesn’t show it. He rarely starts a fight with me. He loves money and expensive clothes. When he gets angry, he sometimes hits the walls and in the past he cut himself (not to die, just to “use the phisical pain to escape from the pain in his soul”. It looks like BPD, but I don’t know.... BPD is something very serious and I don’t know if I can say he really has BPD... maybe it’s a start of BPD idk... I know just a therapist can tell this but he can’t go to a therapist because he’s 17 and his parents wouldn’t let him. Maybe you know someone who has BPD or maybe you have it or maybe you just read more about it than me... Can you give me an opinion? Please... Thank you so much!

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zen-man's picture
Sep 14

Caveat: nobody can diagnose someone over the internet based on a paragraph of information...

That said, those are signs of a BPD. I just posted a number of videos and information about BPD in the Friends and Family of BPD section. If he is open to it, I would have him watch some of those with you.

The main thing to remember is that it's a matter of emotional dysregulation. The swinging back and forth, exploding for what seems to be no reason, and the self-harm are all indicators.

But like I said, no one except a professional who's done a thorough evaluation can make that diagnosis for sure. And even then, a professional may get it wrong, or he may have bipolar which manifests with similar symptoms. One of the issues is the length of time he's been like this.

Sep 14

@zen-man thank you so much!


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