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I can't stop thinking about my day at work. I don't know how

I can't stop thinking about my day at work. I don't know how to deal with my boss. She is so emotional, paranoid and skeptical. Today was just too much though. She has been doing something wrong in inventory and I pointed it out to her and things became really uncomfortable. I explained how she was wrong in a nice way and she got very angry and teared up. She was literally screaming in my face while a calmly kept repeating I'm sorry that this is making you so upset. Im proud of myself for not reacting because 10 years ago...... We looked it up in the manual and it proved I was right yet she still denied it. She insulted me twice during the incident saying horrible things I wouldn't even say to someone I didn't like... this shouldn't even have happened, it should have just been a discussion between two managers. It is something that I couldn't just ignore that she is doing because it would seriously impact inventory. I was trying to fix things and help and only got insulted for it. I always care too much when it comes to work. I can't stop thinking about it. Since returning to this company it's been one challenge after another with her and half the staff, they are all so emotional. I can be emotional too but I speak and act professionally towards others when I am at work, my mind is more analytical I guess. I'm not without empathy it's just the cattiness and instability of my boss that's really hard on me. She thinks the whole team is doing crazy stuff and everyone she's talked about from the past is pretty much "crazy" but the only one I see acting truly crazy is her.

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Aura82's picture
May 10, 2016

it doesn't sounds as though she has a lot of self esteem and maybe she is a little intimidated by you, especially if you did her job at one point. How do you get along with your co workers?

dancingnut's picture
Nov 10, 2016

I get along with the other employees very well. My boss is trying to get one of the girls fired and tried bringing me into it so there is some tension there.
She admitted to me Monday that I was right. I don't care so much about being right as I do being belittled. She reacted so aggressively. I brought it up on Monday and she did end up saying she was wrong. No apology though but she did say she's always tense around Mother's Day because her son passed. Which I can understand and I feel horrible for her loss. I can't imagine what that would feel like. However I can't picture myself ever treating someone like she did to me and I have been through loss too. I was trying to help her. I question now what happened to the last assistant manager, according to her the last assistant manager was crazy and stealing but it makes me wonder if she's the one making everyone out to be terrible when it's her that is the bad one. She's been completely incompetent since I started and I had to jump into doing everything for her. The place was a mess. I'm pretty sure the higher ups all think she's amazing too by what she says so there's not much I can do.

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Nov 22

@dancingnut The first thing you should know is that as long as you carry negative thoughts or feelings about your boss you will continue to find yourself in situations that end up being negative. Thats because we attract to us whatever our predominate thoughts and feelings are about a person or thing. This is not a criticism; we all do that most of the time without knowing it.

You can change her behavior in a short period of time if you shift to positive thoughts and feelings about her. When you do that, you will find the circumstances you are in with her will shift from negative to positive.

To do that, create a list of all of the positive things you know about her from your experience or from her colleagues. Then focus your attention on those qualities. Repeat them frequently during your day, immediately before you go to sleep and when you first wake up in the morning.

If you start to have negative feelings about her, stop them immediately and shift to your list of positive qualities. Believe that your list of qualities will cause her behavior to change because they will. Be in a good mood when you repeat your list. You can get in a good mood by remembering something that made you happy.

Continue to focus on your boss’s positive qualities FREQUENTLY until they become a habit and eventually they will become automatic (you will be thinking about those qualities without trying to). For most people, it will take about 30 days. Once you reach that point, you will start to see a change in her behavior.

You will realize as you experience a change in her behavior that you can use this technique in any situations you encounter whether its with a colleague, a partner, a parent or a complete stranger. It will give you confidence that by controlling YOUR thoughts and feelings, you can influence another’s behavior to produce a positive outcome. A beautiful side-effect of your changed mind-set will be a huge reduction in your stress. Then you will know that you can truly be in charge of what happens in your daily life to keep it stress-free.

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