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***TRIGGER WARNING*** This is hard for me to admit/accep

BlackLily's picture
[11685]

***TRIGGER WARNING***

This is hard for me to admit/accept, so forgive me if I'm not 100% on board with this post. As some of you know recently I've tried to break it off with my boyfriend and I got back into the relationship with him the next day through a long line of manipulative messaging. He came over during the weekend and he asked me if I was happy that the break up didn't last because I'd be without a microwave. He then proceeded to sexually assault me that night. The next day he said he wanted to stay a little longer and I literally had to yell at him to get out so I could make it to class on time (though I was still late because I called an advocate about it). I'm tired of allowing myself to be in these situations, I'm not okay.

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norseduncan's picture
[203155]
Apr 15

@BlackLily oh I totally do now. and I really hope you two can move forward ok. nice to see you again!

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[300]
Apr 15

BlackLily, it sounds like you need to take a step back and reevaluate why you are in this relationship. Manipulation of any kind is not a good reason to stay with anyone, it is not healthy. If he truly loves you he will look out for you and whats best for you, even if it means giving you time to figure out what you truly want and need in a relationship and he is the right person. Seek God's guidance thru prayer and ask Him to help you see whats best for you and stand up for yourself. There is a God that loves you and wants whats best for you, and if you ask He will guide you. Praying for you!

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BlackLily's picture
[11685]
Apr 15

@Busymama1013 I totally get what you mean, I feel like the biggest issue at hand is a lack of communication with him. He's going away to school in two weeks and I'm going to my grandparent's house this weekend, so I think I'll have more than plenty of time to reassess the situation/relationship's value in my life. Thank you for your kind words, it means a lot. I used a pro's and con's list which really got me to thinking that every relationship has flaws and I found that mine has an equal balance of good and bad. It also brought awareness towards myself that before I go throwing words out of my mouth I need to check two things: Identify if this was something he meant to do or if it was unconscious. And of course, try to find if there was something that triggered me to remain in my trauma brain. Then assess both ideas and talk them over with him. I feel like I have this figured out!

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