Check it out, new blog above, "All the Feels"!!!! Additionally, we are looking for group Moderators, if you are interested, please email us at [email protected] Preferably we are looking for members who have been on our site for at least 4 months and are at a point on their life path where they can give support based on life experience-Team SG

I am new to this group and honestly, I'm not sure where to b

[675]

I am new to this group and honestly, I'm not sure where to begin.
I was raped 30 years ago while I was in high school by 2 school mates and their 20 something year old "friend". I have never really spoke about it, I'm still unsure if I want to but a friend told me that remembering all the details will help me to heal. In the past 30 years since this happened, I've developed an eating disorder, I have control issues and very low self esteem. I am currently on my 2nd marriage ( the first one lasted 22 yeras and produced an amazing child ) and my current husband, I believe, is addicted to porn. I am trying my best to focus on myself at this point in my life and I am trying very hard to not let others actions dictate how I feel about myself but honestly, I really don't know how I feel about myself. I guess I'm at a point here where any advise on how others handled their own situations would be appreciated. I really don't want to go to counseling as it's not for me. To me, THIS is counseling enough and safe enough as you all don't know who I am. I really would appreciate any advise, thanks.

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[675]
Jun 17

Had another bad dream last night. Will this ever stop? I'm beginning to rethink all of this. I mean, what good is it to rehash this all if it's not helping? The hardest part is reliving the violence of it, the being held down, choked, taunted.... I just want it to stop for heavens sake! I really want to bury it again but I can't seem to this time.

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[675]
Jun 19

I thought, by coming on this site, that I could gain perspective on some things. I did, just not what I thought I was looking for.
I have learned that we all have a past that haunts us.... we all have a future we are unsure of... BUT we all have a TODAY that we are living.
Life is crazy, unpredictable, chaotic but most of all.... Life is utterly amazing!
Pain changes you but you cannot let it define you! I WILL NOT let it define me any longer!
To those that hurt me, shame on you! Karma.... she never forgets and is very patient!

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[675]
Jun 21

I need a break from this!
God it sucks

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