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Well I had my date yesterday and I must say it was okay. I h

[620]

Well I had my date yesterday and I must say it was okay. I had all these thoughts in my head. "What if I mess it up, what if he really can't handle it if I have an episode?" I was literally thinking about these things the whole time. I did have fun though so it wasn't all bad. It was refreshing however to be out and have a conversation with someone older than 15 lol. I'm taking it one day at a time. As much fun as I had with him, I didn't really feel anything. I mean, I liked being around him, but I did have anxiety during the whole thing. My therapist says it's because I'm used to being in certain types of relationships so this is a big change for me. I'm already thinking of the future. If it will last and what happens if it doesn't. I got that feeling in my stomach that I always get when something is about to happen and I'm wondering if it's a good or bad thing. I didn't realize it would be this hard to date a person that wasn't broken in some way. I guess because now its me that's the broken one and I have to be sure that this person can handle my issues. Does anyone feel this way when dating? I'm sure I've asked this before, but I guess because now I've gone on the date and these feelings are still here is this normal? Does anybody have all these thoughts and fears and anxieties about being with someone?

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[950]
Oct 9

When I first started dating my now husband, I remember feeling so insecure about everything I did in front of him. I was so afraid of turning him off and it caused me a lot of anxiety. Prior to meeting him, I had been married to a serial cheater, manipulator, and emotionally abusive man. I didn't realize the extent of my insecurities from that marriage until I met my now husband. I have worked through a lot of my wounds but it takes a long time to heal such deep wounds. All relationships will have struggles, but not all relationships are toxic...and thank God for that. If you're used to being in toxic relationships, not being in one will seem foreign...in good and bad ways. I encourage you to continue in therapy working through these issues knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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[620]
Oct 10

Yes I am used to toxic relationships and that's why this feels so foreign to me. I know that this is new to me and I know that it's something I should pursue. I like the fact that he understands and is going at my pace. So far he is being okay. He calls to check on me, and we're already planning another date so so far it's okay. I just have to breathe and realize that there are decent people out there and to embrace this and see what happens.

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[285]
Oct 11

I'm so happy for you! After two marriages to abusive men, I sometime seriously doubt if I will ever even meet a decent man - I long for the day when I can go on a date with a man I wouldn't have looked twice at in my earlier, broken days. As someone else mentioned, try to stay in the present and just enjoy it...and don't ever, ever go into that place where you think you don't deserve it, etc. Take it slow and become good friends.

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