This week's Brilliant New Topic: Happy Tears, Sad Tears, Tears abound in 2020!

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Now that I am thinking about it, it’s weird that I am shar

_kingofdairyqueen's picture
[120]

Now that I am thinking about it, it’s weird that I am sharing something that is literally a part of my childhood to a bunch of strangers. But let’s do it! Unfortunately, my story is not a fairy tale with the best memories, but I know it will have a happy ending. I did not have the joy to be a kid when I was little, I had to grow up at a very young age. I do not tell my story very lightly but here it is, I was physically and sexually abused when I was a kid. It has been a very hard process dealing with trauma during my teen years because I had to learn life is not about rainbows and unicorns. It is a very dark and ****** place because you have to discover who you are on top of dealing with the world around you. To me abuse is holding an apple, you want sweet but expect sour, it is that hope you still need to hold on too. Because of all of this, I developed PTSD which let me tell you it is not fun. I absolutely hate it. But through years of therapy, I learned how to regain a little pieces of myself that was stolen from me. I believe it is quite beautiful that I lost everything and I'm still trying to survive something so bad to become a better. For what it's worth, I saw life's flaws and still accepted it for what it is. I learned a lot about myself, that silence is my loudest scream, no matter how young you are you still feel pain, and hopefully, my father realized how good of a woman I have become in spite of what he caused me to feel. See the thing about trauma, it doesn’t discriminate between the sinners or the saints, it just takes and takes until you have nothing else to give. I thought that I had someone cheering my name in my corner but I had no one there to catch me when I fell. I had to try to be my own hero even when no one believed in me. I didn’t believe in myself. Hell, I still don't. I always believe I have the capability to fix what was broken. I learned that life is just a balance of holding on and letting go. I had to say that I was my own path and that was just a bump in the road. But now, I feel like this doesn't seem "abnormal". Many people are suffering like I am now.

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CKBlossom's picture
[485575]
Oct 16

You are incredibly strong and amazing. Really, you have put in a lot of work to heal. I think that as you look at where you came from and where you are now, you will see what a fantastic journey you have taken and you have done it on your own. Find your belief in yourself by not giving up. By continuing to be the strong bada$$ you are!

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_kingofdairyqueen's picture
[120]
Oct 17

@CKBlossom Thank you!!

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