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Im not sure how this goes as i am very new to this, didnt ev

Im not sure how this goes as i am very new to this, didnt even know there was support groups for PTSD, I am not doing so good and Its not like I dont know what to do, thats not the problem, my problem is, is that I am so depressed and so detached its crippling my freaking LIFE, when does it get better! Its been 1 year and 2 months and its getting worse. I can't relate to anyone, i am numb all the **** time, I get very angry especially when I get startled and I cant even remember most things, I have periods of time where I dont remember how i got somewhere, or even putting my purse up, I thought my 8 year old stole my purse from me and in reality I took it to the car and DONT REMEMBER, I yelled and made her cry, called her a theif.. what the hell is wrong with me, what kind of crap is that, I feel like I dont even deserve to be her mother. Most the time I feel like a piece of sh*t and I have an overwhelming sensation to just kill myself alot of the time, but I wouldnt ever act on it, Then I would be a piece of crap for doing that to my baby girl. She begs me to hug her, or show her attention but I can't, and i dont know why, i feel useless and i cant even get out of bed most days. I am having trouble in my relationships, hell my mom thinks i am making this up, which makes me even feel worse. I hate myself, I hate life.. You know I only got 30 minutes of sleep last night. i cant even hardly freaking sleep. I

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rdpca1's picture
[65105]
Oct 8

Hi have you seen a psych or therapist? I highly recommend it can get better with meds temporary help and therapy for longer recovery.

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rdpca1's picture
[65105]
Oct 8

What I am trying to say is it's very difficult to get better on your own. I am happy you found this site it has helped me very much. Maybe consider seeing a doctor for sleep meds PTSD is difficult on its own much more so with poor sleep. Is it ok to say what caused your PTSD?

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Round3's picture
[45060]
Oct 8

Welcome to our group. I'm so sorry you are struggling. I remember those days too well. First, there is hope. Even though ptsd is forever, with hard work you can learn to get on top of your symptoms. It takes time, and tehre are a lot of ups and downs, but if you stick to it the bad days are less bad and less frequent. I agree with rdpca about connecting with a good trauma therapist. I also recommend this book that helped me a lot whenI was starting out. It explains more about ptsd and also provides some practical suggestions on how to handle your symptoms. The book is: The PTSD Workbook; Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms, by Mary Beth Williams and Soili Poijula. About $25 from Amazon. In the meantime, keep posting here, read some other threads, and repy when your comfortable. Everything you are describing are symptoms of ptsd. Unfortunately, unless you get help to deal with them, they will only get worse.

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