I'm new here and this is really my first attempt at any supp

I'm new here and this is really my first attempt at any support group. I have PTSD from years of sexual trauma and abuse. I'm a new Mom with post-partum depression and anxiety. My Little one is just over a year old and I've recently sought therapy for my "problems". I'm having a really hard time. I feel like I'm always going to be broken..People keep saying the things that trigger and technically support that belief even though they have no idea. The flashbacks are bad and I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. I'm not sure where to go and I feel so lost. Helpless and hopeless..like I don't know if I'll ever know a purpose in this life. Who I am or who I want to be. I feel pointless. The hardest part is feeling those good days and then these days come and I lose all sight every time they come back. Today is particularly bad because I just don't see the point anymore..I was told by someone yesterday..yet again..that they don't know how to help me anymore. Which basically told me...they give up. Abandoned. Given up on. I'm too hard to help. This person told me I've always been this way and I've always struggled with that...which makes me feel like there's no hope for me. No one will ever truly be able to understand me or love me. Because I'm so broken. I know I'm not the only one who feels these things..whose had trauma..which is why I hope someone here can Hear me. See me. Tell me I'm not alone. Understand that I can't help any of it..seeing the flashbacks..feeling them. Controlling the triggers. I'm in a process of healing right now and I keep getting knocked down and kicked. I go around in circles...because the people in my life can't understand. It makes me feel like a disease that steals everyone's happiness. A burden. I Just want a place that I can come and be heard without being judged and without someone trying to fix me. A group that I can relate to and that understands what its like. Even though I would never wish this on anyone..unfortunately...I know I'm not alone.

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Round3's picture
[22385]
May 16

@ivanaguadalupe -- wow, that was super harsh and inappropriate. Obviously you missed the "support" part of the title here. Stop projecting your crap onto others.

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Round3's picture
[22385]
May 16

@bringmeback .. first, I'm sorry for ivanaguadalupe's comment. There are some great people here who have big hearts. There are also some very sick people that I hope are able to access help beyond this group. And then there are trolls like ivanaudalupe who is either very angry and projecting, or too sick for this group, or likely both. Please ignore him.

Second, welcome to the group. I'm sorry you are having to deal with so much right now. It took huge courage to search for this site and post. It's clear to me that you are doing the best you can and you are looking for answers/help. I remember when I had my first flashback ... I felt so lost, alone, scared, and wanted to die. I've since learned a LOT and am no longer the person I was (thankfully). The three most important things I can say right now are: (1) you are NOT alone, (2) ptsd is full of peaks and valleys, good days and bad, you just gotta ride it out, and (3) there is hope, I'm proof of that. Please, please, keep posting and at the very least, keep reading what's written here. There is a lot of good information from tips on sleep to overcoming triggers. I'm glad you are here.

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[600]
May 17

Okay I can understand where everyone is coming from, but realize I didn't have tone in my text. That was how you guys interpreted it. As a mother myself, and as someone who had post partum depression, this is how I helped my way out of it. My child was and still is my purpose. How do I make my son proud of me? Pulled up my big girl panties and instead of focusing on my thoughts and purpose, I came to realize my child is my purpose. I push every single day, and I was sharing my personal experiences with this mother who is going through the same thing.

Just because you guys added a negative tone to my text doesn't mean there was one to begin with. We need to remember not to add tone (or judgment for that matter), because I was simply sharing what realizations I had as the OP and I have very similar experiences. Was only sharing mine.

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