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I have been processing and getting past my trauma. The more

[425]

I have been processing and getting past my trauma. The more I do so, the more my personality changes. I thought I was more introverted than I actually am. Now, I'm more out going and engaged with others. I see now I pulled into myself in order to protect myself from more trauma. Basically, I stayed away from people so I couldn't be hurt. I also didn't know what my interests and liked were. I'm finding out what those are now. Has anyone else experienced this?

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[425]
Jul 14

My introverted trait and the ptsd symptoms over lapped for me. I do spend a lot of time alone, just doing my own thing. I didn't realize I was doing it so much as a means to protect myself from people. Now I'm aware, I working on not doing that. I m starting to rebuild my social network.

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T123's picture
[340]
Aug 2

Yes - I go back and forth. I think I am very extroverted by nature, but when I am having PTSD symptoms or I don't know how to describe it - "having a moment, processing, feeling PTSD . . .," I need to be alone and have as little human contact as possible. It helps me feel safe to stay away from people then. When I am having one of those moments I have to force myself to interact with people if I need to - like if I have an appointment or need to go to a store or something, and then it drains me. But normally, I am recharged by interacting with people and can talk to anyone anywhere. I think for me just giving myself permission to do whatever I need to do at the time has helped. I allow myself to be alone if that is what I need at the time.
And yeah, finding interests . . ., bad childhood and bad relationships - I was never allowed to have opinions or interests of my own. I was always told what I should like. And if I said I did not like to do something, I was told I was wrong for that. So for me, yes huge amount of discovering who I am and what my interests are - and huge freedom in standing up for myself and saying I don't like to do something. And these are silly little things that should not matter so much to other people. It is not like I am saying I don't like to work hard, be a responsible adult, or follow the law. I am saying things like I don't like playing volleyball or boardgames, but I do like puzzles and hiking. But growing up - these were not ok opinions to have. It was like, "what's wrong with you, you don't like boardgames." So feels good to unapologetically say I don't like something!!! I gotta admit it feels strange to say I don't like something. I always used to feel pressure to say I liked it. It feels so weird to say it!!!! But I know it is good for me and part of my recovery - probably something lots of people have always done, such a new life skill to me. A fiend invited me to do something and I said, "no I don't like to do that." Felt so weird, but good. I thought maybe I was not allowed to say that. I felt like maybe I should have gone anyway even though I would hate it. That was the old me - trying to figure out the new me!! I still giggle inside when I say I don't like something and wonder if I am really allowed to say that - now if people don't allow me to say that they are probably unhealthy people and I need to stay away from them!

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[65]
Aug 3

That is definitely true. You have the right to say what you would like to do.

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