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here we go...I've been thinking about this list for a longgg

here we go...I've been thinking about this list for a longgg time...I think it is time to put it out there for anyone that doubts the tragedy(ies) of my life:

1. as a toddler i slipped and fell hitting back of head on freshly mopped floor (in hospital i couldn't remember my name, family members, or anything including my abc's or numbers etc)
2. had grand mal seizures for years as young child
3. not long after a dr supposedly wrote dosage for 200lb person instead of 20lb person so I over dosed and supposedly died in car on way to hospital
4. not long after, a drunk driver t-boned our car in my door going over 50 mph and running a stop sign
5. my grandfather commits suicide when I'm 7 and I loved him dearly (mom had difficult time while grieving)
6. nearly drown
7. was in plane crash, well more like controlled emergency landing on a small island due to problem with plane
8. relentlessly bullied at school for various things; the biggest one being having big ears...I was quiet, shy, nerdy (like a young Sheldon) which continued throughout my entire schooling experience
9. I won't write what this one is but it's super life changing
10. victim of violent crime as teenager at local h.s. football game best friend had to go to the hospital but his telling me to run and hide saved me (I hid under a car as my friends got beat up and the perpetrators tried to find me)
11. had long term h.s. boyfriend break up with me only 3 wks before prom & had ?friend? go to store behind me and buy the dress I wanted, hid it from me until night of prom when she walks out in it as surprise reveal (amway)
12. every car I have bought has gotten ruined somehow (keyed, car swerved into my lane hit me head on, wheel barrel falls out of dot truck on interstate, thrown rods, head gasket blown, friend wrecked it, was stolen and then wrecked, etc)
13. been cheated on too many times
14. every friend eventually questions me about something I supposedly said about them and ends friendship
15. female issues and had to have several procedures
16. divorce
17. miscarriages
18. hurricane
19. victim of violent crime as adult (lost many abilities I once had and had to come to terms with the new me)
20. lost both parents tragically
21. fiancé was a highly physically and emotionally abusive overt narcissist
22. involuntarily drugged more than once
23. i'll leave this one out too but it is bad
24. had horrid ear infection for almost a year and drs supposedly couldn't get rid of it
25. almost hit by a car more than once
26. almost hit head on again but luckily avoided
27. was covered from head to toe in sores and drs supposedly couldn't get rid of
28. presently in narcissistic situation that is not good
29. lived homeless in my car w/o money bc he closed the joint bank account and took every penny while husband had OW living in our house with him
30. have NO PRIVACY due to another interesting thing about me that I had a hunch about for awhile but just finally figured out...this makes me highly atypical and I'm now trying to cope with it...
I'm only 43...and I didn't list everything

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May 17

thank you! I appreciate the prayer...and i appreciate those kind words...I spend most days feeling like I am not...most days I feel like I miss myself...if that makes any sense...
when something similar to this happened to one of my grandmas, she had both her parents and my mom as daily support...when something like this happened to my other grandma she had her husband and my mom as support...when something similar to this has happened to a few of my mother's friends they had their parents and my mom for support...I guess my mom always ended up supporting people through hard times bc when people came to her for help they knew she was being upfront, genuine, and honest...they knew that they could trust her...when things got super confusing and I had a hard time knowing who to trust and who had my best interests at heart without underlying motives/agendas, my support system dwindled all the way down to just one person...thank you for praying for is a stressful day bc I still have no idea who to trust and I feel pulled in sooo many different directions bc I still do not know exactly what has and has not really happened...when things are left to appear ambiguous it becomes difficult to tell...and the sad part is that my list is missing soooooooo much stuff...I can't believe that I am only 43 and have had as much happen to me as has seems almost impossible but I promise it has...I have finally come to terms with the fact that someone or a group of people that remain well hidden truly hate me with a vengeance...and I have no idea why...

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38 minutes ago

I don't mean to get too personal. I know this is very emotional for you. But is this narc outside your family? It seems odd, they'd hate or target you specifically since you were born, as well as your family. Does this have to do with a family feud or some sort of cult your family left, or maybe some sort of gang stalking targeting? I'm so sorry you're suffering this way. The only reason I ask is some of the things you name could seem to look as though they're mere coincidences. But sometimes when a person is targeted that way, it is intentionally made to be hidden to the public eye. Like with my narc for example, I know he slandered me to his family, our churches and in our neighborhood. It just shows, when I never suffered that kind of slandering before we met, as an adult. I was slandered as a child but it was a separate issue and nothing to do with what I'm going through now. A person can just tell when it is happening though no one else would even know. It's freaking creepy and almost demonic.

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35 minutes ago

@overberringer, this site is awesome though. I feel safe here.


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