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here we go...I've been thinking about this list for a longgg

here we go...I've been thinking about this list for a longgg time...I think it is time to put it out there for anyone that doubts the tragedy(ies) of my life:

1. as a toddler i slipped and fell hitting back of head on freshly mopped floor (in hospital i couldn't remember my name, family members, or anything including my abc's or numbers etc)
2. had grand mal seizures for years as young child
3. not long after a dr supposedly wrote dosage for 200lb person instead of 20lb person so I over dosed and supposedly died in car on way to hospital
4. not long after, a drunk driver t-boned our car in my door going over 50 mph and running a stop sign
5. my grandfather commits suicide when I'm 7 and I loved him dearly (mom had difficult time while grieving)
6. nearly drown
7. was in plane crash, well more like controlled emergency landing on a small island due to problem with plane
8. relentlessly bullied at school for various things; the biggest one being having big ears...I was quiet, shy, nerdy (like a young Sheldon) which continued throughout my entire schooling experience
9. I won't write what this one is but it's super life changing
10. victim of violent crime as teenager at local h.s. football game best friend had to go to the hospital but his telling me to run and hide saved me (I hid under a car as my friends got beat up and the perpetrators tried to find me)
11. had long term h.s. boyfriend break up with me only 3 wks before prom & had ?friend? go to store behind me and buy the dress I wanted, hid it from me until night of prom when she walks out in it as surprise reveal (amway)
12. every car I have bought has gotten ruined somehow (keyed, car swerved into my lane hit me head on, wheel barrel falls out of dot truck on interstate, thrown rods, head gasket blown, friend wrecked it, was stolen and then wrecked, etc)
13. been cheated on too many times
14. every friend eventually questions me about something I supposedly said about them and ends friendship
15. female issues and had to have several procedures
16. divorce
17. miscarriages
18. hurricane
19. victim of violent crime as adult (lost many abilities I once had and had to come to terms with the new me)
20. lost both parents tragically
21. fiancé was a highly physically and emotionally abusive overt narcissist
22. involuntarily drugged more than once
23. i'll leave this one out too but it is bad
24. had horrid ear infection for almost a year and drs supposedly couldn't get rid of it
25. almost hit by a car more than once
26. almost hit head on again but luckily avoided
27. was covered from head to toe in sores and drs supposedly couldn't get rid of
28. presently in narcissistic situation that is not good
29. lived homeless in my car w/o money bc he closed the joint bank account and took every penny while husband had OW living in our house with him
30. have NO PRIVACY due to another interesting thing about me that I had a hunch about for awhile but just finally figured out...this makes me highly atypical and I'm now trying to cope with it...
I'm only 43...and I didn't list everything

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May 21

@overberringer, oh, yes, trust me I know more about this shat than you think. Thank you for the links. I'll look at it. But truly I do empathize because I've been thru some crazy similar things, though not as intense as what you describe your life has been. But for me it has been since about three years after I met my husband so it is questionable whether he caused it, is part of it, or does some of it as his own thing and is separate from the actual gang stalking targeting. So, um, yah, I have some idea what your life has been like. You have all my love and sympathy here. I am a Christian myself but not the kind like you described in your negative experiences. I'll pray for you now.

May 21

@overberringer, but I am a bit more paranoid than you since I think the cops and DOJ actually do know about it.


thank you for the prayers...I will pray for you as well...I consider myself multi-theistic now...i kindof want to refer to it as being a naturalist in religion...a theory based on other religious history plus watching and observing what god actually created which is observing god's creations separate from man-made creations such a societal structure, you can really see what god may have time has gone on I think: gee, I don't think one religion has it all right...I now believe there may be some sects of Christianity that are trying to clear the earth of certain types of people...we as a society give up soooo much information about ourselves that a church with the money and crazy goals backed by fanatical followers could do some real damage to people if they decide to use that information as warfare...some churches out there still believe people are possessed by demons...I have a family member that goes to a church where their pastor was actually excised as a child...yeap, that man's parents thought he was possessed and called in a priest to do an exorcism on I was told that story I walked away and thought to myself ( ;-) )...what if they didn't actually get that demon out of him and now he is leading a huge church of people...and then I thought right after that ?possessed? right...I've always been willing to learn about other beliefs...I find it intriguing...I don't have a problem with any religion until they get fanatical and start trying to impose their beliefs on others against their will or by being too pushy...your Christianity is a good thing bc it gives you faith...
well, here's the thing...if you are in a similar situation as myself then your husband may be guilty and he may also be completely's why...this particular church keeps a close eye on your relationship...when THEY see something THEY don't like or approve of THEY begin sabotaging your life in various ways...the stress and oddities will cause a natural reaction of high suspicion and most likely panic and some paranoia...the oddities will purposefully look like it is certain people doing it so that you point your finger at them...this is to rip your friendships apart and isolate you as you lose friends...the person with the target on their back is the one that will experience the stress of other words, if your husband does not have a target on his back too then he will remain much calmer than you and will begin to point at you as being crazy or he will appear to be completely unaware or unaffected by the chaotic environment (it is his easy way out of the relationship just to go along with it)...the person being scared to death has been deemed the "unfit spouse"...that's the one they are trying to run off for various reasons...maybe you yell too often, drink too often, do drugs, cheat, are jealous, or have some other personality trait they find unappealing...they will do anything and everything to protect the "angel" of the relationship which is the spouse that THEY feel is being abused or unappreciated or should be with someone different than you...they'll stoop as low as to try to frame you for a crime...all of a sudden your neighbors will treat you differently and possibly avoid you...your spouse's family will start doing and saying things that creep you out bc it is wayyy personal and you wonder how they'll blame your spouse and start fighting...ultimately, you'll feel feel this way bc it will feel like nobody likes you you have no friends left...and then if you don't take the "hint" to leave then the real harassment begins...they basically FORCE A DIVORCE/ husband knew the drill bc he watched it happen in his family several times as he was growing up...he was the youngest of 18 total and 12 that were full siblings...most of those were male children...and it is usually the wife that gets deemed "unfit"...his oldest brother is in his late 80's and he is just in his mid 40's so he watched alot as he grew up...he KNOWS what they were doing to me....that's why he kept begging me to "clear his name" and "what ever you do do not change bc I love you for who you are not what they want you to be"...and the classic "please, i beg you to just learn to ignore them"...there were other statements he made also that made it clear that he knew but I won't list them all bc those I did list makes it clear that he you are going through something eerily similar to what I have described then either your family, his family, the church, or the community has decided they do not like you and that you and him should not be together thus they are forcing a divorce...does your husband seem genuine in wanting you to remain married? my husband begged me for almost a full 2 years to realize it is not him bc he didn't/doesn't want a divorce...I haven't been allowed to talk to my husband in months so I don't really know what HE wants (they tend to make the decision for y'all)...and the last few times I did talk to him there were other scary factors going on and I did a lot of yelling bc I was still confused and scared to death...they are really good at lying...and the church people will gets to be a very confusing web of events and it becomes difficult to make heads from tails of the time that i alst talked to my husband, i still had people telling me tidbits of info and there was still some harassment going on so i was still very freaked out so anything he said that sounded suspicious triggered me ( i ahve c-ptsd really bad), I removed myself from the chaos so that I could calm down and think clearly...bc quite frankly, it gets pretty I hope that you are not going through what I am going through...oh, they like to use symbolism makes it more difficult to prove outright harassment that way...each time my husband and I split up his brother and sister-in-law that have made it abundantly clear that they do not like me would post the picture they took at our wedding as their profile picture as sarcasm and almost like boasting...a family friend of his posted a picture of her and her ex husband with her ex husband colored out with a marker when he ended up back at his mom's is subtle but it is there...and it is sarcasm and is criticism bc the one that gets run off is obviously "unfit"...they are basically shaming you for not being good enough by their standards...they tend to believe that couples shouldn't ever fight or argue...

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