SERIOUS advice and help needed please - potential trigger wa

SERIOUS advice and help needed please - potential trigger warning?? please read the whole thing I know it's long.

3 years ago I was in my first relationship... now this relationship was very brief, like 3 months or so but it was my first so it was intense. I had make it clear to him even while he was pursuing me that I was NOT going to have sex with him at all for my own conservative background and he had assured me multiple times that he was okay with it. Once we started dating I noticed things changed.. for one he would touch me sometimes where I was not comfortable and I'd tell him to stop but he'd continue. He also began pressuring me for you know what and would tell me daily how I need to have it with him, that If I don't then it means I don't love him, that I dont care for him or his needs etc and that he will have to leave me if this is the case. Everyday it was the same pressure and the same "you don't love me, you don't care about me" and sometime he'd even degrade me saying how he wishes I was skinnier, he stopped replying to my msgs sometimes and would basically imply we're done bc I wouldn't have it with him. Anyways one night he came to pick me up and as the night went on the pressure got intense, while we were making out it was fine but he then asked if we could have it and I said "no" and he started yelling out of frustration saying he can't take this anymore. He then kept saying he loves me and he just wants me to prove I love him and that he wants our relationship to work, he doesn't wanna end it but he needs an act done. I gave in. We did *Not the full act* but still I gave in and an act was done and right after minute he dropped me home. After a few days we had plans that we set up earlier so I asked if he's still willing to hang out and he said yeah. After work it was around 11 pm, I Was waiting for him outside and kept calling with no answer. He stood me up. He then texted me and told me that he's done with me, that he hopes I understand he's an a-hole and that he was on vacation so he didn't bother to follow up or let me know that he stood me up cus he didn't care. That night was literally crushing. I remember going to a store and buying all the junk food I could buy and just binge eating all night long and crying. After that night, I felt like I lost control of my life and binge eating became a part of my life. I guess some of it is guilt, shame and humiliation. How I let someone just take advantage of me like that. I still to this day haven't gained control over my eating habits. I used to be VERY disciplined and VERY dedicated to my health and had lost a bunch of weight but after that period in my life I just no longer have motivation to eat healthy. I binge eat and have no control, when I'm out though I don't eat lol it's only behind closed doors. It's become a problem and I'm not sure what's going on. The other day I had this realization that maybe it's hidden trauma?? I'm not really sure. I would like insight as to what you think of my situation and how I can get help from here.

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(390)
Aug 4, 2019

@T123 TRIGGER WARNING. the same thing happened to me, except it was with my now ex girlfriend. She would always force me to send nudes and then she’d post them online whenever I didn’t miss school for her, or whenever I would hang out with a female friend (in a non romantic way of course), or when I’d go just thirty minutes without talking to her. She was very controlling about anything and everything. When I came to her house one time, she said that if I didn’t have sex with her, she’d kill me and my whole family because apparently her ex boyfriend is a hitman which I didn’t know. I let her have sex with me because she was non stop blackmailing me into it. I made it clear to her that I was a virgin and didn’t want to lose my virginity. I was uncomfortable with it. Anyway, when I finally got home, and told her I wanted to break up, she would call me and my mom non stop and would say that she knows where we live and that she’d call a hitman on both of us and send him to our address. She would send creepy death threats in the mail and even on voicemail just because she was “frustrated” I didn’t want to have sex with her. She was totally obsessed with me. We had lots of proof
how psycho she was and got police involved but they said they couldn’t do much because a threat isn’t always legit and she lives in a different state. But just a week or so later, both me and my mom would see weird people following us and we got police involved again. Their was finally police action that was taken and now she’s no longer in my life and I’ve never felt happier to more free. I was diagnosed with PTSD recently because of her we were together several years and I always just stayed with her because I was scared of her. I didn’t love her, I didn’t want that relationship, but she manipulated me into thinking that she’s the only person I’ll ever need in my life and that no one else would ever care about me. I’m out of her life right now and now I know all the red flags of abuse. I was pretty naive about the signs of an abusive relationship when I met her. And she even lied about having alters because she admitted she did when I told her to stop blaming her mental illness on everything because I don’t like people who do horrible things and then make all of us look bad by blaming mental illness for their actions, especially when they’re just pretending to be mentally ill. Some people really can’t take no for an answer and just have to be in constant control over you for no reason.

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(190)
Oct 22, 2019

That evil piece of sh*t. This is definitely trauma. This guy's entire goal was to take advantage of you because you were conservative.

If you can get professional help, please do so because this will bother you for a long time.

There are sociopaths/narcissists and psychos who target you with the sole intent to ruin you and take advantage of you for fun. This is there intent. Im sure you have learned a valuable lesson but it's difficult to deal being mistreated like this when you did nothing wrong. Best wishes. I hope yoh are able to move past this.

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(190)
Oct 22, 2019

Also, consider yourself lucky he's out of your life.

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