Hello. Im 4 months pregnant. Its my first pregnancy. Im mar

Hello. Im 4 months pregnant. Its my first pregnancy. Im married. Had a love marraige. I love my husband alot. I badly wanted this pregnancy. I feell very low sad lazy n depressed most of the time. My husband is a doctor and due to his busy routine he doesnt spend enough time with me. I too am a working lady. I get suicidal thoughts negative feelings. I feel scared what happening with me. I feel scared about my pregnancy and the outcome. I feel scared that my husband doesn't understand my problems. He is a doctor n this makes me more crazy he should understand more. At times i feel i can feel better by going out with him and having dinner. But this rarely happens due to his schedule. So im standing no where. Feeling alone and crazy. Whole day in a room. Please someone help me

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[30]
Feb 24

I am dealing with a very similar situation. My husband is a a wonderful man but he is also very busy doesn't understand and just looks at me like I'm a bit broken and he doesn't know how to fix me. The mornings are the worst for me. Just getting out of bed in the morning is like running a marathon, it leaves me exhausted. There are time when all I want to do is stand in the middle of the room and juust scream, because then everyone would have to stop and see that there is something wrong. Before this pregnancy I would have a day every now and then where I felt down but it wasn't constant like this. What has helped me a bit is making myself get out and do things I know I will enjoy, even if the thought of doing them sounds exhausting. I have also started to talk to other people and talk about how I feel, like this group here. My doctor suggested that I join a pregnancy group where I live but I can't make it to any of the meeting times, so maybe look for something like that where you live. I'm sure there is a group of ladies around that are pregnant or have been that are willing to lend their support. I have also found that journaling has helped a bit. When I get my thoughts down I can talk with my husband about exactly how I'm feeling and what I need from him. This has helped him a bit. He now asks how I'm doing, and checks in with me. He has even, on my really bad days, taken a little time off from his work and done an activity with me, even if it is something small like sitting on the couch with me for a little bit, while I lean on him. Just that bit of contact sometimes makes me feel better for at least a little bit.
The first two weeks I felt like this I thought it would just go away if I powered through and kept it to myself, but it isn't going away and my doctor said that I may feel like this until my baby is born, because it is likely hormone driven. I had to accept that I can't do this all on my own.

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[60]
Mar 4

Hey Nudrat! Congratulations on your pregnancy. This is such a wonderful news for you. You must be very happy and excited for this baby. Don't stress, dear. You have to stay happy. Or else your sadness will affect baby's help. And you don't want to risk your baby's health. Distract yourself from other things. Go shopping. You must be excited to shop little things for your baby. Talk to your husband on call or even texts when he's at work. If you want to spend time with him, you have to take time out yourself. Make him good food. Guys crave that. He himself would want to spend time with you. I know you really need his support and love right now. Overthinking won't solve anything, right? Just talk to him and make him know how you feel.

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[30]
Mar 5

@Ammara Hello, I don't want to come across as attacking, that is not my intention at all, but... What you are saying is that she, and me as well should simply stop being depressed and just start being happy. If that were something we could do do you not think we would have done it? In other discussions I'm having, and other groups I am in I have found that the worse thing I hear from people is "well just be happy! You're having a baby! That is a great thing! How can you be sad?" It doesn't help, and actually makes me feel worse.
Also to suggest that she should work harder to get her husband to pay attention to her is not something she should have to do. At this time in her, and my life the catering should not be skewed either way toward the husband or toward her except in times of crisis, and is a time of crisis in our lives. I do agree that sitting a husband down and really making sure that he knows what is going on is important though. I had to have several conversations with my husband before it really seemed to sink in that this was a big deal. While I have been feeling this way for a little over a month it was really only last week that he seemed to really understand and really start offering substantial support. The issue with the depression I'm feeling is that it makes me cycle. While I may know that things are not horrible, and my husband's comment was not meant in a horrible way I cycle on those negative thoughts with no way out until the next thing. What I think you are referencing in your advise is simple stress. You might be able to distract yourself from stress and occupy yourself with something different for a while, but this is different.
The big thing that has helped me is reaching out to others and talking about it. I found out through doing this that a close friend of mine actually went through the same thing with her last pregnancy. She kept it to herself because she thought she was one of the few that went through something like that. It made us both feel much better knowing that we knew what the other had/was going through.

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