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Hello, I grew up with a mother who appears to have NPD. She

Hello, I grew up with a mother who appears to have NPD. She believes she’s smarter than everyone, snaps constantly at the littlest things, hates people, appears delusional (has called me names and abused me physically and denied it), and she was diagnosed bipolar but pretty much said f that and never did therapy or anything. Now as an adult, I see her in myself way too much and I hate it. I hate it so much. I’m ruining my relationship of three years, he’s literally so close to leaving me. He has a little narcissist in him but not as bad as me. I don’t know what to do, feels like I can’t control myself. I’ve gotten better at work and on the road, have really bad road rage and got lots of complaints at work for my attitude. I’ve met people randomly that act like I do, saying “wow real nice” when people don’t hold doors open for you or being rude to the poor security guy who’s doing his job by telling you it’s a no parking zone...when I see these people I don’t feel like I’m like them, I laugh at how crazy they are. Then I do it, and now it’s become a ten-step process (what me and my bf call it). I snap or do something crazy, am delusional and give excuses for why I did it, fight about it, finally realize and hate myself and feel suicidal. Feel like I don’t deserve anything...etc. I don’t know what to do. Any help would be appreciated, also new so sorry if this is wrong group.

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[113215]
Jun 18

@Dcredeur Welcome to SG!... After reading your post, it sounds to me that you might have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It is possible that, as a child of a narcissistic mother, you may have some of her traits without being a severe, or NPD, narcissist. Both BPD and NPD are classified as cluster B personality types, which have similar traits and behaviors, but are different disorders. Most severe narcissists do not have insight into their own behavior. They don’t believe there is anything wrong with themselves. In their minds, everyone else is to blame, and needs to change; which is why so many are never diagnosed. They also accuse others of the very things that they are guilty of doing. In BPD, there is a lack of impulse control, rapidly changing moods, and a need to create drama. Narcissists also need to create drama and chaos, without which they become bored. They are different disorders, even though there are some similar traits. You seem to be hard on yourself, and fear your boyfriend will leave. BPD sufferers are very afraid of abandonment and rejection. Narcissists also fear abandonment underneath their false self, or mask; but they usually do not openly admit it. We are not qualified to diagnose you here. But it is important that you receive a proper diagnosis by a mental health professional, so that you can receive the right treatment. There is often confusion and misdiagnosis in this area of the mental health field; which is why I recommend that you seek the right diagnosis and treatment. We are always available to support you......

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[1135]
Jun 18

The fact that you have empathy shows that you are not a narc. Narcissists literally don't have the ability to empathize. Your awareness will lead you to change the undesired qualities over time. I'm often mean in public, but deep down it's because of my anxiety. This allows me to be gentle and try to smile more even if others don't smile back.

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Mosaic's picture
[9845]
Aug 12

deleted for privacy

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