Need some advice. My son is 11 and we found messages between

Need some advice. My son is 11 and we found messages between him and another friend, talking about kissing each other, etc...

When he and I spoke about it last night, he said that he thinks he might like boys and girls both. I told him that he was only 11 and really didn't need to feel like he needed to label himself as any particular thing right now, and that conversations like that are not appropriate, whether they be with boys or girls.

It's obvious that he's having a hard time with this. Seems like he may be confused, or feel pressured to go along with some label or another. I told him that I would always be in his corner, and as he gets older and knows for sure what he wants out of life, we will be glad to see him be a happy young man, and it doesn't matter to us who he loves.

This is uncharted territory for me.

View 1 More Comment

@Mikezx Yes, it's a boy we know and I spoke with his mother last night. She handled it in much the same way. We told him that he could still continue to be friends with him and talk/text, etc... but that he would need to make sure to steer the conversation away from anything sexual or romantic. We will probably sit down and talk to him again tonight to make sure he knows he can talk to us about all of this any time he needs to.
Thank you for the advice.

Jan 14

@jamiemaddrox2020 If you or the other boys mom had no idea that your son and his friend had any interest in each other romantically it must have been a shock for all of you. If needed there are resources for parents of LGBTQ children such as PLFAG and depending on where you live there could also be local resources as well if needed. Now that you know and the other boys mom knows making sure the two boys are doing ok should be asked. I doubt if either of the boys were thinking about coming out or letting anyone else know how they feel about each it would be worth making sure they are both doing ok.
They both must be relieved that their parents had a postive and understanding reaction to finding out but at 11 they need to know that they have the love and support they need and can openly discuss their feelings with you if they want to and they are ready to.
This could be the first crush for both of them but they both have probably had some indication maybe even concerns about being attracted to other boys.
It truly does seem like you are dealing with this very well and making sure your son is getting the support and understanding he needs.
The boys are still the same great kids they have always been and curiosity and discovering or figuring out their sexuality is part of growing up.

show more

@Mikezx Well I can't say I was completely blindsided that he might have these feelings. But I don't think either of us knew he was feeling this way about any one specific person, or having the conversations.
Yes, no matter what, they are still 11 year old boys and my son is the apple of my eye. I made sure to tell the other boys mom that we don't have any ill feelings toward their son, or them, for any reason. Not that we should, but unfortunately, I know that some people in the world cannot process their emotions on this subject.

And you are right, it will be important to check in with both boys to make sure they are doing okay and not feeling any negative feelings about the conversations. Thanks again.


Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account