HOCD while in a relationship or married

I was just wondering if anyone who has HOCD (homosexual ocd) is in a realationship or married? I am hoping to learn how others cope in this situation and if it is really hard. I have hocd and am starting a relationship, which seems to be making the ocd so much worse. Has anyone else found this? Also how does the partner or spouse cope with the you having hocd, do they support you or does it cause problems? Thank you for anyone who can shed some light..

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(45640)
Nov 12, 2013

I went to see a therapist who diagnosed with me OCD - HOCD. I wasn't convinced by his diagnosis and I felt I was repressing it. I cried all the way home from the therapist's office and contemplated suicide four times. I'm at a point where I think I'm a lesbian because there aren't really intrusive thoughts or images anymore. I also did get aroused by a homosexual thought (which did make me cry) and by a naked woman..... so I'm pretty confused. I don't feel anxious any more but I still don't feel myself. I am in a heterosexual relationship of nine years ; it's not easy. I often feel guilty about being with him - how can I live with him, how can I marry him, I hope he doesn't ask me to marry him because how can I say yes!!! I don't even know what sexual orientation I want to be any more. It makes it so hard to be in a relationship when you don't know who you are, what you want, and you feel so much guilt. I think I should break up with my boyfriend. I don't think he's lucky at all to have me - my brain is nuts! But I can't leave him. So what you choose to do is up to you but keep in mind it is hard. I have had instances where I had to keep checking that I wasn't kissing a woman or a womanly looking man. I would have images while being intimate with my boyfriend. I worried about my boyfriend touching me too gently or acting in a feminine way. Those worries are gone but there is still the guilt. It's up to you how much you want to put yourself through.

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(10)
Jul 7, 2015

I am married and I have a baby (1 year old). I figured out HOCD some weeks ago but the problem with it has with me some years.

The first time I had intrusive thoughts was 8 years old. I remember that day. I was walking with my dog and I had that idea, man You are gay!, I can't spleep for a lot of weeks, One day I was with my mom and i told her, Mom I think I am gay, it was really hard for her, I remember her face. She told me, Ok, why? Do you like a guy? Why do you think that? Then I was to the psychologist, she was a young girl. And For me was like a game, i didnt feel anything.

After it, I met a person, she help me a lot, because I had a lot of personal problems, but always I had some weeks with OCD and HOCD. In the recent years, I had this relationship, but I felt that I needed change about my girlfriend. I didn't do anything, Now I have a baby and I have this crisis again. But now I know that it lives in my mind and I need to have control. I suggest to you, practice Yoga, Meditation, some special thing, and try your idea fly far away from you.

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(90)
Jul 9, 2015

Hey Angemarie, i had HOCD whilst in a relationship. It can happen to you any time and in any stage of your life. Once i realized it was HOCD and not that i was crazy i think being in the relationship helped as it gave me something or someone to look forwrad to seeing even when i was miserable! Hang in there you will be fine :)

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