hi, i'm new to the online support group thing, first joined

hi, i'm new to the online support group thing, first joined the binge eating group and found it very helpful chatting to others with similar mind sets to me so am feeling brave enough to join other groups to help me through these dark days of my life. i was 110kgs at my heaviest and lost 15kgs over a year but have recently put 3 of those back on in the last 2 weeks. i'm getting stuck in a cycle of one last 'bad meal' before i start good again the next day, then next morning i start great and by end of the day i blow it all. i never feel like i'm big until i see my reflection and think 'oh yeah thats why i need to lose weight' or even worse is seeing photos of myself next to friends who i think are similar size to me and realizing just how much bigger i am compared to them. i have high cholesterol at 30 years old and had an ecg becuase i thought i was having a heart attack and yet this still has not made me focus on my health. well thanks for letting me vent!

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 2
Aura82's picture
(190810)
Nov 3, 2013

Thank you for sharing with us! It takes so much courage to reach out. What have you done in the past for weight loss? Although the health aspect makes the weight loss more important, I noticed that when there is no reflection, or picture to look at, you generally feel good about yourself. How has your self esteem helped you loose weight before?

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as14783's picture
(390)
Nov 5, 2013

i was mostly just eating less and moving more. my main motivation was that my partner of almost 8 years had left me and i wanted to lose the 10kgs that i'd put on after the break up so i could feel confidant enough to get out more and met someone new. i think my self esteem has taken a smashing as its been almost two years since my break up and i haven't met anyone. i've talked to my counsellor about how i think my bingeing is out of control at the moment because i'm scared that if i do lose weight and i still don't met someone then i need to face that it's me personally not physically thats an issue. and i keep telling myself whats the problem with eating, its the only thing that i've got to look forward to at night when i'm home alone. its such a nasty cycle that your mind puts you through :( thanks for reading aura82

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