I haven't been on in forever. I just turned to my xbox for c

xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture
[4740]

I haven't been on in forever. I just turned to my xbox for comfort.

Right now I am in Colorado for a vacation and we were about to go horseback riding. But I was worried about my weight on the horse so I asked if they would possibly have a horse to carry my weight. They unfortunately didn't, and I had to do my walk of shame back to the car and my aunt took me to her house.

Everyone kept saying that they wished I could go. I hated hearing it honestly. I felt like it called attention to my size even more. My aunt said it on the way home to her house and all I could say was that it was my fault. Because it is. It's my fault that I am as heavy as I am.

But now I don't know what to do. I'm trying not to think about the disappointment and embarrassment and sadness and all this other crap I feel, but I don't know what to do besides that.

I'm so angry at myself that I wish I could cut myself but what's that going to do except hurt me, and temporarily feel good... I am contemplating whether or not I should skip eating for the rest of the trip.

show more ⇓
Comment
 6
View 3 More Comments
xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture
[4740]
Jun 18

Thank you everyone. I am feeling better now after that incident and your comments really help add to me feeling better. Thank you so much.

Reply
WilliamAndersonLMHC's picture
[3475]
Jun 19

@xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx - Don't forget that the urge to express or relieve the pressure is a good thing. We need to. You are getting the message that something important needs to be done. When you learn ways to reduce the pressure and relieve it in a healthy way when it happens, it will be a lot different.

Reply
grey_waters's picture
[2945]
Jun 19

I actually think it was very nice of you to be concerned about the horse.

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account