Today has been very difficult. Actually the past 3 days have

Today has been very difficult. Actually the past 3 days have been difficult. I was diagnosed with HSV2 2.5 years ago. And I have not had a breakout since my original until 2 days ago. And I’m not even sure it’s a full blown breakout bc I have what appears to be one lesion. At first I thought, ingrown hair? I didn’t have many side symptoms with it and some of it may have been me just worrying. What I have realized over the course of this diagnosis is that I have not accepted it. It’s been 2.5 years and I’m still in denial. So this small lesion that has shown up, has spiraled my emotions completely down. Realizing, it is real. It’s not just a false positive. I had a really crappy doctor tell me I had it. He simply said “oh yep! That’s herpes!” I was devastated and extremely embarrassed and cried for weeks. I’ve been with people since and have struggled to find the words to tell them I have herpes. I have become a stronger individual in a lot of other areas of my life, but this one... I just can’t even imagine being left for something that wasn’t even my fault. Sure I’ve heard time and time again from my doctor, if they can’t accept it and communicate w you then they aren’t the one, but that alone hasn’t made it any easier. I’ve talked to my friend who has herpes and that doesn’t help. I am kind of at the end of my rope with how to handle this. Not suicidal but completely depressed and seeking some others input.

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@JayRob40 thank you very much for your response. I know that I am not alone, I know that people have gone through similar feelings. I think my ultimate issue is how long it’s going to take me to be open to telling people and strong enough to tell the person I am with that I do have them. There’s been a few times where sex has just happened, unprotected, and I get smacked with guilt afterwards for not saying anything. And then think well should I do it now... or is it too late. Then I feel like isolating myself :(

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a_survivor's picture
(80900)
Feb 24

@Hiddenfeelings
one thing we here emphasize is to **ALWAYS** divulge.
1) imagine how it felt to not be told and BOOM here YOU are!
2) it's all about "When To Divulge", and "How To Divulge"
3) as we here have stated before, those who choose to walk away, let them! it just proves their concept of YOUR worthiness.

finally, in closing, i always dated platonically first. so much so, that my dates began to wonder if i was gay!! eventually we moved to that next level. i went through a few dates, all with that same scenario, and eventually weeded through to find my current spouse of 22 yrs. it's what worked for me...

... my journey continues.

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(1205)
Feb 25

@Hiddenfeelings. I am glad I could help in someway. I would recommend looking into getting a daily or suppression prescription as it will lower the chance of transmission. Also you need to work on always informing before possible exposure. If it is hard just put yourself in their place or imagine them having it and asking you if you gave it to them. Not easy but the right and I believe easier thing to do. It is also possible to expose someone for years and not share it if you have no outbreaks or share it the first time. That is why having the talk is so important for them and for you. Good luck!

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