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Venting after falling into a socially inappropriate compulsi

[570]

Venting after falling into a socially inappropriate compulsion *warning: sexual content discussed*
So I was out in a public place today, and though I did feel my anxiety kick in when I saw young decent-looking guys, I didn’t freak out and largely avoided looking at them compulsively. However, I did fall into a compulsion when I came across a couple with a girl that had a really nice chest and wasn’t wearing much on her upper body. I felt my gaze shift from her to her boyfriend, and seeing his face gave me the anxious reaction. After I probably made eye contact with both of them, I looked at the girl’s boobs a second time, probably as a compulsive reaction before moving on. I think my feeling of nervousness was my HOCD reaction to seeing the guy mixed with the usual timidness I’d feel when checking out a girl’s body. Anyways, I’m frustrated that I fell into a socially inappropriate compulsion, when I glanced at the girl’s chest even after she had probably noticed me doing so. However, I think that I shouldn’t get discouraged by this because I’ve generally done a much better job avoiding such compulsions recently.

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[33030]
Oct 19

Sorry you acting on this socially inappropriate compulsion. But I agree with you, that you shouldn't get discouraged, because you have been having more successes in not acting on them recently than you had in the past. Congratulations on that! I wonder if there was something that made you a little more vulnerable this time? Not enough sleep? Hungry? A stressful day?

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[570]
Oct 19

@L2015 who knows, I wouldn’t say I was having a particularly bad day but will say I was faced with more situations that would cause me to behave compulsively than I’ve been used to. Perhaps with more pressure piled on top of me, I was more vulnerable to slipping. It could’ve also been the combination of a decently attractive guy with a hot girl that was pulling on my OCD in two different places at once, raising my anxiety to the point where it overrode my reasoning.

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[33030]
Oct 19

Yes, I think that makes sense - dealing with 2 emotionally-charged visual images at once would make it easier to lose your internal equilibrium and control as you try to juggle several dicey feelings simultaneously. I notice that I stop thinking clearly when I get 2 stressors happening at the same time.

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