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I am again sitting here evaluating my relationships with the

I am again sitting here evaluating my relationships with the people around me. I've had a close male friend for years, we talked on the phone everyday, all day. About 2 months ago he disappeared completely. I've sent a few messages thinking maybe I said something or did something to upset him. Because it just doesn't make sense. He never showed any weird tendencies or red flags. He claims he "everyone " was asking him the same thing. But hasn't spoken to me since. I am also I guess upset with everything going on pertaining to the virus. I know I signed up to work in healthcare but this is a little bit of an extreme circumstance and I am very stressed out. I m scared for my family and my kids if I bring it home to them. 2 of my friends have flat out said "At least you have a job and you knew what you were getting into". I feel like that is extremely cruel to say to someone. Am I overreacting?

Fiftyyoung's picture
Mar 26

Many times people say hurtful things without realizing it until later. I know I’ve said some things I wish had stayed in my head. You have a very stressful job in the best of times. What’s going on now is catastrophic and I thank you for what you do. As far as your friend goes, maybe he’s dealing with something major and isn’t ready to share yet. I had a friend who would just disappear, no contact and no response. I later found out she was fighting major demons.

Annep2018's picture
Mar 26

No your not over reacting! That is cruel to say. A thank you for being on the front line in helping to provide care to people is more appropriate. As for the friend that is not responding, maybe they will come around, if not you deserve a friend that can communicate issues rather than ghost you. Stay safe!

Mar 27

I got a message from him finally last night stating he has been depressed but honestly, it really rubbed me the wrong way. He stated "I will continue to try to stay in touch, however if I don't respond don't take it personal". I just said I hope things get better for you. I have found now that I have been on my own for so long that I can't tolerate anyone else's crap. I know a lot of it is probably me. He sent about 5 pages of excuses as to why he hasn't contacted me me and I literally groaned aloud because it reminded me of my narc. I think the stress isn't helping but I am trying to stay positive for myself, my family and my coworkers.


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