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Hi, I deal with anxiety on and off. Some days I have really

Hi, I deal with anxiety on and off. Some days I have really good days with no anxiety at all and some days I feel incredibly overwhelmed with a combination of overwhelming sadness. I just play through my head all the bad things and it makes me a little crazy. I don’t deal with grief very well and I don’t get over things very easily. What’s heavy on my mind right now is how happy I am to have my sweet 18 month old son, but how guilty I feel for being happy when I don’t have my first child with me. I miscarried February 7th, 2016, due September 8th 2016. They would be a little over 3 right now. Very tmi, but when I was little I was molested for years by my older cousin. This has been 14 years ago since the last time, but he recently “accidentally” messaged me and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for the last 3 months, everyday. I just don’t know how to move passed anything. It’s just my past is constantly creeping up on me. I can be so happy and then my thoughts ruin it. I self sabotage. I’m married, we moved across the country, I have a child, but I just can’t move on. Do any of you have advice or have gone through something similar? If you’ve read this far, thank you. I appreciate you.

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Hi it no fun to be depressed. I have been thru so things like living in homeless shelters. Things happened to me with I was around there. I blocked the memories from my mind. I forgot or leave out a year or two of my life. I am a cristian and I pray a lot. Helps. Congratulations on your child. That’s wonderful. I get racing thoughts. Like dwell on bad things. I take Wellbutrin lately. It alieviated my constant worry and improved my mood. There are vitamins over the counter that my keep you calm. I wish you and your family good luck. Someone once told me they we depressed and then they had their baby. Now they can never feel bad because the baby is so beautiful.

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[1555]
Jan 25

Dear, precious one... I am so sorry for all of this and the emotions you are experiencing. Life can be so hard. But as you are seeing with your baby, life can be beautiful too. The one thing I have found, after 40 years of fear, depression, anxiety, and self hatred, is that you have to process through the things that happened. You have to feel the pain, anger, shame, from it, and only then can you fully begin to heal and become free from it. If it is still coming up, you are not fully healed. Try talking to someone, praying... I am praying for you. You are not alone and you are so worthy of being happy in your new life!!!! Sending you big HUGS!!!!

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