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Hello, new to the group, I just found out 4 weeks ago that m


Hello, new to the group, I just found out 4 weeks ago that my wife of 13 years has been carrying on an explicit video chat affair with a married man for 2 years. After confronting her and getting the "truth" from her by investigating through her phone, I discovered that she has had a physical relationship with a POS that we met at a local bar one night, he got her number and invited her out on dates while I was busy with work events, she slept over at his house and lied to my face numerous times that she was with co-workers until I threatened to call them to confirm. She is a local school teacher and has put herself on a pedestal.
To our friends and family she is the sweet innocent perfect wife, however she suffers from depression and has been a terrible wife behind closed doors. Lets just say thanksgiving week was a nightmare holding back this secret around our family. I don't exactly know what I am looking for from this group, except some guidance on how to move on and make our marriage work. Who can or should I turn to, I know it will tarnish her reputation amongst our friends and family, but I kind of don't care, she has made me out to be an alcoholic with them already!
We are scheduled to see a couples therapist this week, and hope it provides positive guidance. I know I have not been the perfect husband, but have been through thick and thin for her to deal with her depression and other issues.
Has anyone felt the need to reach out to the affair partners spouse(s) to ensure that it ends or at least hope it does? if so, do you have suggestions on ways to go about it, I have no reservations about creating animosity in their marriage, as they have already done the same to mine!

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Km27's picture
Dec 3

@devastatedinptbo Great advice as always my friend!


Just remember that infidelity has nothing to do with you or how good or bad of a husband you perceive yourself to be. There's something wrong inside the person that cheats. You could have been the "perfect" husband and it would have still happened. My stbx wasn't perfect, but I never even considered stepping out on him.

Morningview's picture
Dec 3

@outoftheblue72 Agreed, i knew we were having problems, that we were growing distant from each other, but i never in a million years thought she would cheat on me.


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