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Anxiety has been so high after discard from narcissist, now

Anxiety has been so high after discard from narcissist, now seeing my relationship for what it was has truly made me SICK to my stomach, yet I am fearful of if or when he will Hoover.....will I be strong enough to stay no contact....I feel like he's always watching, but honestly he doesn't give a **** about me....he ghosted me 1 week before my mom's surgery I love him but I know he never loved me.....I have endured a significant amount of loss including self worth, emotional instability, mental anguish, my credit score is so low, I am way worse of now then when I got into this toxic web....I feel awful

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[930]
Oct 10

I agree time heals all wounds....things will get better...I am not going to ever give him the time of day EVER again to break me like this anymore

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[550]
Oct 12

My husband made me physically sick, too. I had all sorts of symptoms all the time, and I didn't relate them to him until I got away for a few months. "The body keeps score." I'm having a tough time getting that my husband used me for supply and didn't love me.Usually, I'm more empirically minded. If the evidence suggests something, I will accept it as true. He keeps trying to test me to see if he still has any control over me. You are lucky if you're in a position to go totally no contact. I'd like to focus on moving on. I so wish I had gotten away sooner, much sooner. I had little consciousness of how he was operating. Now we still have things to work out for the divorce. It's awful. He even wants to start a new business with me. He has no clue why that isn't something I'd like to do. I'm hoping to avoid lawyering up. If I had more money, I'd go completely no contact. I'd take a trip far far away and never speak to him again.

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[930]
Oct 13

I agree if I could relocate that'd be great....I always feel like he's watching me even when he's not....I feel a little better today than last week, but I am in constant fear of hoovering etc....

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