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A question about psychology: what could be the psychological

monami's picture

A question about psychology: what could be the psychological mechanisms at play be when a female at work starts to feel constantly criticised by a male co-worker, and when she asks him for feedback he says there is nothing to complain about and all is good. The guy is a person very sensitive to injustice, ignorance and prejudice, so I the obvious explanation does not work. I am puzzled. I started to anticipate a put down from him anytime I say something in a group, and it indeed always happens. In private conversations he acts respectfully and tries to be helpful, even friendly (in a neutral way). This situation is getting more and more on my nerves. But it keeps on intensifying, so I feel like there is some mechanism at play, just cannot identify it.. any ideas?

RainbowChard's picture
Sep 12

Good for you for thinking wisely about the situation, rather than letting emotions take over. I won't pretend to have any idea what's going on with this guy psychologically but I do have a couple of questions for you. What needs of yours is his behavior threatening (e.g. security, sense of competence, personal value, etc.), and how can you nurture those for yourself so that they aren't easily undermined by him or anyone else? Which other relationships in your workplace or elsewhere can you nurture that will support your sense of belonging and well being? Sometimes withdrawing attention from someone who is affecting us negatively can be helpful in reducing their behavior - but this is not always the case. What are your thoughts?


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