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I feel so defeated...About two years ago, I was diagnosed wi

[1850]

I feel so defeated...About two years ago, I was diagnosed with genital herpes. I had only been unprotected with two guys and one of them definitely gave me chlamydia in my anus so I found out I had two stds at the same time. After that, I used condoms every time I had sex with anyone which I only had sex with maybe two or three other people after that (being generous). I haven’t had sex since last July and now I’m having my first hpv outbreak of genital warts. What the hell did I do to deserve this? I stayed protected and was taking my valtrex like I was supposed to. I protected myself and other people! How did I end with another std???I feel so defeated...About two years ago, I was diagnosed with genital herpes. I had only been unprotected with two guys and one of them definitely gave me chlamydia in my anus so I found out I had two stds at the same time. After that, I used condoms every time I had sex with anyone which I only had sex with maybe two or three other people after that (being generous). I haven’t had sex since last July and now (almost a year later) I’m having my first hpv outbreak of genital warts. What the hell did I do to deserve this? I stayed protected and was taking my valtrex like I was supposed to. I protected myself and other people! How did I end with another std??? I mean, I know I’m susceptible to more stds after my first one but I never had sex during an outbreak, I took my medication as needed, I always wore a condom, what more could I have done??

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Round3's picture
[44405]
Jun 17

If your partner has multiple std's, he can pass them all to you. Both HPV and Herpes can be dormant in the body and then break out later. Have you been to the clinic? Sounds like a total work up would be good to find out everything you are dealing with so (a) there are no more surprises (b) you can take better care of yourself and (c) best ways to protect your partners. Many many people have these conditions so don't people yourself up. It's not about 'deserving this'. It is though, about taking responsibility for your actions.

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Acrossthepondmsc's picture
[625]
Jun 17

Can hpv present for the first time long after infection? That seems like a question your doctor can answer.

As far as feeling defeated and hopeless: all permanent conditions require time for you to learn to deal with them. When I found out that I had celiacs, it was incredibly difficult for several years because I had to change my lifestyle and I kept getting glutened. And that’s just celiacs! You have a virus that comes with the burden of shame, even though it shouldn’t (being 50, I just don’t get worked up about someone’s hpv, because for my age it’s so common). What you are saying about herpes is exactly what I’ve heard from two friends who have it, and I wonder if you could find a support group.

Why you? Because sometimes life sucks like that. You gambled and paid dearly when others gambled and and stayed virus-free.

This IS manageable, and I’ve read that the flare ups occur far less after a few years. It’s going to be ok. Take care of you, love your body, be as healthy as you can be physically and mentally, and take it one day at a time.

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