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I woke up this morning feeling really good, and then i had a

I woke up this morning feeling really good, and then i had an appointment with my psychologist, and i went there... And I felt like i had nothing to say to her, and i felt like i didnt want to talk about my problems today, i just didnt feel like it because i was feeling good and capable, and so i went there anyways, and i just starting talking .. And it didnt feel right, it didnt feel good at all, because i didnt want to talk about it, and i didnt feel like talking about problems with her but i forced myself to do it, and i violated myself, but when i got home i just felt so sad, i really felt sad, because i had acted against myself, i had violated my own inner will, and im so sorry about that, i could just feel the anger and hurt inside, i felt betrayed by myself, because i really didnt want to talk to her, and i should have cancelled, i know that now, i just feel so sad and hurt inside, and i feel like i dont ever want to go back there again, because i feel like it was so painful.. We talked about things that i didnt want to talk about, and I just have this idea that i HAVE to tell her things, and my problems, and negative things that i feel, but i really felt good so there was no point in me going, because i didnt have anything to talk to her about, and so yeah i forced myself to talk about those problems, and past issues - and it was like ripping up a wound that is healing, it just didnt do anything for my healing process, it just hurt me so deep that i would that to myself, i feel like i disrespected myself, and im hurt...

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kisobel's picture
[213510]
20 hours ago

How are you feeling today?

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[24915]
16 hours ago

Hey i think there's a lot of people that end up doing the same thing we talk about things that we really don't want to talk about with our therapist and feel worse after doing it just like you did. I'm sorry it made you feel so bad. From now on maybe you can plan ahead more before your appt and make notes on what you want to discuss keep your notebook on your lap so you can look at it to stay on track. You might want to share some of this with your therapist at some point just to see what they say because maybe they will have some really good feedback for you, I'm sure they have had other clients go through the same thing. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

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