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hello. i really felt the need to get this off my chest here

joonfairy's picture
[70]

hello. i really felt the need to get this off my chest here because i'm honestly not really into sharing this with my friends as they might not understand and might judge my situation. anyway, my mom is a really bad tempered woman. she gets irritated VERY easily and when she does she tends to scream, shout and curse at everyone or a person that is in fault. she has been this way ever since her early marriage years and around last year it started to get worse because of my family's financial problems which are really getting to my mom, making her overthink and worry a lot. plus, my parents have not been on good terms ever since we had these problems + some other relationship problems from years ago really get to my mom and they make her let out everything she's feeling when she's angry. ever since i was just a child she would curse and swear in front of me, throw things and bang things in a way to let her anger out. she would even curse and swear AT my brother and i, not realizing what she's saying or who she's saying these things to. sometimes i would be affected by her words, cry to myself quietly, but most of the time i try to hold my patience and not scream back. nowadays her anger issues have gotten really bad and just recently i developed a feeling of being afraid of her. i am afraid of WHEN she's going to yell and curse at me, WHAT bad things she's going to call me and HOW she's going to release her anger on me. this is affecting my mental health and i don't know how to help myself overcome this but i really need help.

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Littlesis7's picture
[15075]
Apr 16

How difficult for you bc...it's your mom - the one person whom we all put in that category who will "never hurt us". But sounds like she did hurt you - emotionally. She instilled deep fear, which is SO sad. There's still that child inside you who mbe never learned how to process heavy sadness and the loss of happy dreams. This happened to me but it was my father whom I gave up on after age 11. Sad right?
You don't have to face all this fear alone. I'm not sure how old you are but if still in school, you can go to a councelor and get important advice (strictly confidential). If beyond school, there are County and church affiliated organizations in place to get help.
Have you spoken to your brother and how much he also could be affected?
It doesn't sound like your mom is interested in admitting fault or listening to how you both feel?
She, of course absolutely should face how she has chosen to Express all her RAGE apparently not realizing? you were both like sponges, taking it all in day after day?! She may have deep emotional issues, medical pain or possibly Bipolar? That's not your job to fix - that's her job.
Your job is to salvage what's left of your young life and be healed and let her go if she cannot face her actions. But what a price she would be paying for her anger.
I hope you begin healing!

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