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I saw a tweet from a gay girl saying she finds it heard to s

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I saw a tweet from a gay girl saying she finds it heard to separate platonic and romantic feelings because she spent so long telling herself everyone has the romantic ones. What if that’s me? What if my false attractions aren’t false and my girl crushes are actually gay crushes? What if the fact that lesbian porn turned me on and I found it easier to get off to boobs makes me gay? What if my experimental past wasn’t experimental at all and instead telling me what I am?

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[40435]
Jan 12

I used to get off to boobs as well. This is one area that hocd really used against me.

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[2255]
Jan 12

Same at all of you omg! Yes me too, Bria. I've wanted to admit that many times on here but I felt that if I admitted that then I would admit that I am gay. And exactly what @Iwantmyoldselfback said. I used to watch porn as a kid and getting off to breasts was what made me think I was bisexual when I was 12, but then I would stop watching it and get back to real life and I realized that I would genuinely feel disgusted at the thought of dating/having sex with a girl and I would only ever get crushes on guys so I knew that I was straight. To this day the fact that I got off to "that" bothers me so much to the point that it gets in the way of when I fantasize about guys because my HOCD makes me feel like I won't ever be able to enjoy sex with a guy because they don't have t*ts lmfao what is wrong with me. This is literally my biggest concern with HOCD and I honestly don't know how to overcome it. That's why HOCD hasn't left me completely. I'm afraid I'll have to accept I'm bi because of that and that I'll prefer to have sex with women while my romantic attraction is in guys. Ahhh I hate this so much

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@kari197 i feel you soo much. But i know that before hocd i liked guys so much like i was attracted to them and it didnt worry me if i would like having sex with a guy. But now i worrh that to will i enjoy it and my romantic feelings towards them have left me too and it maks me so anxious and empty and i feel so worried and sad all the time. Its like everywhere around me ppl are suddenly gay and people talk about being gay all the time. Like today in church out of nowhere the pastor started lraying for people who are gay and feel surpessdd that we shiuld accept them right after i was praying if it all would go away and if j could feel like my old self again. It scared me so much and my sister is out of nowhere sharing posts all about being accelting towards gay people like thats good i know but why now why when i feel like this its so triggering. My sister isnt gsy shes married to a man sometimes i wonder that what if my family noticed im different and they think im gay omg it freaks me out. I just can deal with this emptyness.

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