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Hi! I'm new here, just found this through google. I hope so

Hi! I'm new here, just found this through google.
I hope someone reads this although it's going to be quite hard to explain and maybe understand. I am stuck between two cultures, and I absolutely hate it. I don't know who to talk to anymore. My boyfriend is white and he is incredibly supportive about my situation but I just wish my parents could at least meet him and give him a chance. We've been dating in secret for a while. Last time I told my parents about him, I was almost disowned (I'm only 17). My family doesn't want me dating anyone who isn't from our religion. But that religion is such a minority and I just can't believe that they would go to the extent of disowning me if I wanted to be with a white boy. It's not because of age, either. I am fairly young but they are very open to me dating someone of my own culture/religion. I feel like this is driving a wedge between my boyfriend and I. I also can't talk to my therapist again because my parents cut off contact with him when I mentioned I wanted to talk about being stuck between two cultures. They were scared he would persuade me to the "western" side. I feel so alone and so, so, stuck. There is no way out of this and sometimes I wonder if it's even worth being alive over. I don't want to live like this.

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Oct 11

Ultimately you might have to chose between your family and your boyfriend. If you can't talk your parents out of their ways, then they might disown you, because I have had the same problems with being disowned for dating someone out of my race (I'm white and I'm 17 as well). Family is very important, and you have to keep in mind they are the ones who raised you and can potentially help you financially and emotionally throughout life when no one else is guaranteed to. Think of hypothetical situations such as you decide to be with your boyfriend and you get married and your family no longer accepts you, and he dies and you are no longer able to support yourself/ possible children, who do you turn to? It's also an aspect of how much do you think you owe to your parents after how they've raised and treated you. I know this is sounding like I'm supporting them, but I'm really not, I just want you to understand what you're signing up for if you really think he's the love of your life and he's worth more than your family and potential future. You can message me back any time you'd like, and there was no intentions of offending you, if you have been, you have my deepest and sincerest apologies.

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Blessed98's picture
Oct 11

@RomanGalaxy remove the boyfriend from the equation for a moment. They stopped her from contacting her therapist, thus removing her support network, because she said something they didnt like. which tells me that although they are family, the parents are overly controlling and that could affect her in the long run. My advice would be to talk to the parents and ask why you have to date someone with your religion. State that while you respect their wishes they have to let you make your own choices.


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