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What’s making me not let god go is the fact I’ve been wo

What’s making me not let god go is the fact I’ve been worrying about this since I was young and little. When I would get the thought when I was little, I would say “being gay is a sin and I am not gay” I didn’t even really know what being gay meant at the time I didn’t (to my knowledge) have any crushes on girls and for some reason my head is thinking there was a time but I cannot fully recall and I think this is a thing called false memories but Idk. I’ve always imagined my life with a man. I’ve literally gone through so many scenarios about marrying harry styles. I love getting attention from men so much like if they think I’m attractive. But then I have this lingering thing. Where I’m like “what if you find women attractive and you’re really meant to be with a woman” and I’ve been having intrusive thoughts the majority of my life and I’m still so young and I just want this gone

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@m.isabel I found out about hocd by looking up “scared about being gay” and I saw hocd. And then my anxiety went away for like ten minutes and came back. Another thing is causing me is “are these thoughts unwanted” or do I want to be gay I’m just scared to come out that’s what’s getting me really getting

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Can anyone else give me advice?? I feel so lonely and love hearing from others and different opinions

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[2610]
Jun 13

@hocdistakingmysoul Stop asking yourself if you are gay or straight... Stop trying to find an answer. I'm also with that doubt, I haven't had much experiences with men so I get very insecure about if this is hocd or denial. But if we keep wondering about it, we will just stay in a cycle. We got to get over all of this experience. Hocd or not there is still a whole lot of life waiting for us.

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