I think I may have had a breakthrough today and I wanted to

I think I may have had a breakthrough today and I wanted to share it with you. My ex has decided to use his father's death as an excuse to be as selfish as possible. I'm listening to what he says and it is unbelievable. Everything is selfish and about him, the money he is getting, what he's going to do. With a few bits of sad thrown in. Last night he sent me an email saying I make everything about me and I'm the one to blame for everything. I typed a reply and then read it before I sent it and thought no, I'm not doing this, I'm not arguing anymore and I'm not accepting the blame. I deleted what I had written and retyped a reply which simply said I was hoping he didn't mean the nasty things he had said because he has gone through a traumatic time so I'm not going to fight him. I know he will respond badly because it will frustrate him, but I don't really care, I'm not going to get a good response from him regardless. He is getting ready for the discard, and he is trying to blame me so he can walk away leaving nothing of his fault behind. This is my breakthrough - I'm not rising to it any more and for the first time I didn't. I took the high road. I realised that his email attacking me hadn't made me cry for the first time. I read it and immediately thought everything he said was rubbish and the person he is describing when attacking me is nothing like the person I actually am. I knew that and I'm not letting him convince me otherwise. He's not getting to me as much. I care less. That for me is an immense breakthrough and I never thought I was going to get there.

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Eevie's picture
Feb 17

Congratulations! I remember having a breakthrough like that a while back. Not saying it doesn't slip still. But just having that awareness feels like half the battle is over. I always remember Ross Rosenbergs, Observe Don't Absorb mantra. This is their crazy and doesn't have anything to do with you. Stay Strong! and when you're weak, and slip, and get caught back up for what ever reason, don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself and try again.


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