This week's Brilliant New Topic: It is Thanksgiving next week y'all, where has the year gone???
November 19th, 2020

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When I met my stbx I noticed a hypersensativity. The way I

When I met my stbx I noticed a hypersensativity. The way I spoke or ate drove him crazy. I felt it made him want to explode on the inside...i could see it in his eyes and body laugage. Over the many years of being togther he has controlled these two things about me. To me they were small things but to him big so I let my pride down and was sensative to his needs. I changed how I spoke and I changed I how ate. I no longer say huh or what for an example, eat near him in a quiet room or dig inside bags making the repetative cringle noise. Until recently i had no understanding why he would get so distraught over these things. Over the last year he has been working on bringing me to his level. He intentionally smacks, eats loud, cringles says huh, what, gives scrunch faces..ect- everything that he demanded (yes he would get mad at me) for the last decade. I have been ignoring it. Recently I have been hypersensative to this just as he always has. I want to punch him or anyone who does it..It boils inside me when I hear these things. It was never like this before! These things did not bother me...

I personally believe that in his upbringing he endured similuar torchure and he wants me to feel what he does.. therefore, he mirrors what his family did onto me..

Buy hey, now that i figured it out...I will pull it together!!! I wont let him cause emointional unsteadiness within me. Those feelings are not a part of me..its a part of him.

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[3520]
Oct 21

@kelly72 I think this puts you at hero status lol. That's great. I would love to never have to say another word to mine. I still have at least 8 years of kids going back and forth, though. Counting down the days.

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You guys are reminding me of the stories i have of his bs.

It will be nice not to have to see his pissy face. Or doubt buying something small like a water at the gas station bc 'we dont have money' yet he apends 10 a day stopping at gas stations. Or accepting a gift only later to be guilted. Im so tired of him looking and speaking to me as if I am an annoyance. Or having to admire or thank him for how HE created something positive in me "without me you couldnt have done it". The list could go on things i wont miss.

I started song inspired by this distorted view. Basically its about guy who causes " rain " then waits for his wife to drown so he can save her. Its called underwater.

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[6185]
Oct 30

@Jack007 They are difficult just to be difficult. It's that simple. I went through that dishwasher battle for years. I didn't load it right, but she did the same thing you mentioned and piled stuff in so it didn't get clean. They need to criticize and they need conflict, no matter how stupid and petty it is. They need to feed. And once they know it's something that's caught your attention or something you specifically ask for, I think that makes them even MORE prone to do exactly the opposite. Sick stuff.

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