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Until recently I thought a narcissist just meant someone who

Until recently I thought a narcissist just meant someone who was vain. I stumbled across its true meaning by accident, and I'm telling you, it is uncanny how all of our stories are so similar. My guy ticks off almost every box in the manipulative narcissist category. And I have never ever heard of gaslighting, unbelievable how you guys have just hit it on the head all the way around. Anyways, I feel so much relief knowing that I wasn't going crazy. The worst thing was that what the f just happened feeling. This guy can argue about tangible evident things such as it is raining outside or the Earth is round and almost make me doubt my sanity. I asked him if he maybe had a head injury or was slightly retarded. You can imagine how that went over. Anyways thanks for letting me share and the best of luck to all of us we can do better.

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Bloodstone2020's picture
[4725]
Dec 3

@Carolynncjc The traits and tactics of Narcissists are familiar too me. I've worked as a psychiatric counselor for a few years and then as social worker and teacher. I'm now dealing with what I perceive as a problem with my own son, who as far as I can see, has become more narcissistic with age; I expected the opposite. I am looking at the reasons for his behavior change. I have always thought of him as honorable and solid. So what's up? One of the first things a counselor in training does is go through his own analysis and then he or she should never stop holding up a mirror for themselves. Someone in this group simply put it as there is a Narcissism spectrum and we all fall somewhere on it. A child up to teenager is the most narcissistic being on earth; luckily, most begin to outgrow their lack of empathy through learning experiences and brain development. Some don't. They just learn how to adapt and use their narcissism in the most ingenious ways. Beware of blanket statements, I would say. You know your own reality and your own story. I responded to someone who said the blame for his behavior was all his. Even here there is a problem, when thinking in terms of blame. Blaming someone or blaming yourself may be counterproductive. I'm thinking right now in terms of responsibility. Narcissism is very complex: beware of blanket statements and generalizations. If you have a psychopath and someone who has NPD...get out! Now! Run! Don't look back! No matter the circumstances! Then there is the other messy reality that we may have on our hands, in which case, Do Your Own Research. Do you think there aren't people with NPD in this group? The devil comes in sheep's clothing. The devil doesn't own a mirror. The devil simply wants to mislead and is looking for revenge. Someone will look at what I just wrote and swear I have horns. Peace

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[135]
Dec 2

@CL061 Oh yes, my narc ex GF flat out told me that in our 2 years she had nothing to ever apologize for. That her intentions were always good. I'm sorry was not in her vocabulary

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[5855]
Dec 2

I thought the same thing. I stumbled upon NPD when I was researching how to cope with my feelings after being discarded and why he treated me the way he did. I was blaming myself because he made me think everything was my fault. I did self reflection as everyone should when a relationship ends and I own up to my mistakes but I also know this relationship had changed me into someone I didn't want to be. I felt like I always had to defend myself. I was made to look crazy. I did so much for him and just wasn't enough.

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