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Today I’m thinking and I was wondering what is it so diffi

Foundlove's picture
[11560]

Today I’m thinking and I was wondering what is it so difficult for so many people including myself to leave an abusive person? I have to get down to the science of it personally so I looked up article. All this stuff has been researched and the more I learn the more I go... hey that’s me! It’s very helpful to me to look at the research and science behind things and thought maybe it’s helpful to someone else here too. I have been struggling and still to present day to leave abusive narc. I’m confused why it’s so hard but this article kind of helps... first time I’m reading about this trauma bond and dissonance, very interesting!

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mmadwaite's picture
[16635]
Apr 24

@Foundlove I honestly believe that braking up is a process. For some of us it's a little longer than for others. It may take a couple of times so you can adjust and get it right the next time. If you went on a date, although it is not something I would do, I still think that is great! Also, besides having a support system, you have to have some interests outside of your home. These are the things that will get you closer to people. One other thing I think you need is a plan for the future. If you're younger and still working, this can be a shorter term plan than if you are retired like me. This is something I lack right now. I think that's one of the reasons why I'm having such a hard time. I don't have a firm plan as to where I'm going or where I want to be. Just keep trying; you know what it is you want and that's half the battle.

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Foundlove's picture
[11560]
Apr 24

@mmadwaite I went on date but it was more I think to conquer the anxiety I was having about men and dating. He said he was dating and I said I’m not at all dating. I don’t even know if what we did was actually a date. I kind of thought like maybe we could date casually but then I don’t think I could stop myself from developing feelings. I’m glad that we didn’t keep dating as I realized he’s not such a great person like I’m fantasizing. I think I tend to fantasize and fall in love to fast in past. I realize I have to learn to take things slow and accept reality.

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mmadwaite's picture
[16635]
Apr 24

Foundlove Well, I still think that's a good for you. Good for going and realizing some things and not pursuing anything.

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