This is the only place I find solace. I can't even go on ot

This is the only place I find solace. I can't even go on other support sites for narcissistic abuse anymore because people are either posting nonsense or it's a group on social media, which I am no longer part of. The pain these monsters leave you with, the nightmares, the ptsd, the old wounds they dig up, the obsessing because they could be so nice when they wanted to be... it's all sickening and too much to bear without people like the ones here who truly get it.

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[85750]
Mar 21

@GPBC6770 I'm so glad to hear you've found solace here in our group. If I can give you my honest opinion -- when you're starting to heal from narcissistic abuse, going on social media and seeing those displays of BS and "fairy tale perfection" is as fake as the narc him or herself; and pure self-torture!... It will also hinder your recovery process, as will any contact with the narc -- the focus MUST be shifted away from the narc (and anything to do with him), and onto YOURSELF!... It's so hard and painful because you're fighting an actual addiction -- a bio-chemical reaction in which the brain releases a chemical called "peptides" into the bloodstream which reaches every cell in the body. The more contact, thoughts, etc., you have with or about the narc, the more these peptides are released -- the effect is the craving, obsessive thoughts, longing, the feeling of missing out, and imagining scenarios of the narc's happiness and bliss in his new relationship will continue to increase -- resulting in prolonging the agony, torture, anguish, and turmoil in your mind. It's your mind that's creating this -- it's not the reality. It's masochistic to do this to yourself -- if you had an excruciating toothache, you try anything to find some relief, you wouldn't try to make the pain worse. You need to stay off social media, go totally no contact, and focus on comforting, soothing, and nurturing yourself -- you deserve that; you don't deserve more pain. The people here are genuinely caring and supportive, and we speak the truth -- you can feel safe and understood here. Please don't allow yourself to be abused any further -- and don't abuse yourself. We're glad you've joined us!....

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Discernment's picture
[11875]
Mar 22

@djbuett

You have been dealt several devastating hits dj....I am so sorry this happened to you. The trauma you have experienced will take some time to work through, and healing is a process, so you take good care of you. You are important.

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[2030]
Mar 22

@BitByLandShark I understand that. I had similar with helping narc get to where he is in his career. Now traveling all over when he knew I wanted to travel so badly and for 17 years never took me outside the US. Plus is making excellent money.
He came to me bankrupt and I had a house and money. Everything is reversed now. His career always came first. His credit always came first. Now that things are reversed and he's learned so much about how to act and how not to act (since narcs pick up on these things and decide to hide things better the next time around) - the next one will benefit. But I keep reminding myself unless she is totally submissive and unquestioning about anything, and unless she and her family/children are completely perfect - the truth will come out eventually, the mask will slip eventually.

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