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Sorry folks, I have to vent now. So as you may or may not re


Sorry folks, I have to vent now. So as you may or may not remember, I was getting my house ready to sell. Difficult being as I have crippled up knees. So my husband (a narc) has been helping me get the house ready. We live in the middle of the desert. So naturally we have low water maintenance landscaping for the most part. Part of that is wood chips under our hedges and other strategic places to keep moisture in after our bubblers water. So one of our spaces was empty because the plant died and he had to fix a sprinkler. After he fixed it he decided to take some wood ships from under our hedges, which need them for moisture and put them in the empty space for aesthetic purposes. Okay, I get that you wanted to move them to a useless place for eye catching reasons. So whatever. FIrst he disappears for hours pretending to get dirt to put there. Who knows where he was maybe flirting around our neighborhood or getting high again. Whatever. I don't really care. What pst me off is he lies, says he never moved the wood chips. He says he got the wood ships from the planter, which I know he did but he lies and says he never took them under the hedges when he clearly did take them from there and there was a trail of wood going from the hedges to the area and he tells me it's because it blew there from the planter where he was moving them. Um, no, you're lying. You took the woodchips from my hedges and put them in a useless place that doesn't need them and now the hedges will most likely die or I'll have to water them twice as much for NO REASON. But the stupidest part is he can't just say, "I moved them over here. Sorry I aint movin em back" That's what a normal person would have done. Or maybe "want me to move these over there?" Or "Mind if I move them over there." No instead he insists on lying about it like a two year old saying that he did't move the chips under the hedges and says he doesn't know where they went. So I said, look, lets go out to the hedges. And I said, "where did the woodchips go?" He says the wood chips are still there, see the leaves are still on top. And I said, no actually I noticed the leaves were gone too and was amazed at how well they were raked away. How does a 54 y.o man get to be that age and need to lie this way? It's absolutely insane. This happened at our old house too. One day, he took an outside door and switched it for an inside door. And I was like, "why did you do that. The paint will peel because it's the type of paint for interior and this is a rental so the landlord will get angry. He sat there and lied til he was blue in the face and still to this day claims he never changed the doors on a house that wasn't even his. It's just further confirmation I'm doing the right thing, selling our house.

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mmadwaite's picture
Jul 24

@Scat I just read this from you. I don't know how I missed it. I think this site needs some software work done. Our husband seem much alike. After chatting with you, I think what I thought were identity issues from his NPD, is really Dissociative Identity Disorder. I would say he has a mild form. But he still has the identity issues from the NPD, too. Now that it's come time for me to print off the divorce papers and have them sent to him, I feel fear and guilt. He didn't want this; he's just a person whose emotions are out of control. I'm dragging my feet. Hopefully, I'll move along.

Jul 24

@mmadwaite, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this heartache. I know how difficult this must be for you, since for me, it is the most difficult thing I've ever lived through. : (

kelly72's picture
Jul 24

As long as he has a pulse, he'll be lying and trying to make someone question their sanity. It's pathetic that they do these things to make themselves feel like the sane one. Everyday on this site is another confirmation that I made the right decision when I chose to be narc free, happy and in control of my own life. I don't like being someone's robot and I don't care for their abusive ways. I don't think there is any such thing as an honest narc, they are complete fakes. Hollow, distant, cold, cob-webbed, eerie and dangerous!


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