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Something that I am trying to understand is how someone can

Something that I am trying to understand is how someone can take a narcissist back 3 wives and 16 years later. Has anyone ever taking a narcissist back years later? I see a lot online about new supply but not much on recycled supply. I am doing so much better but my problem with everything is that I analyze everything (do that for a job). He has never recycled anyone of his other exes and never smeared her as much as the rest of us. Just looking for my some insight from anyone who has ever taking a narcissist back years later because I am having a hard time wrapping my head around it.

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Narodnik57's picture
[2335]
Nov 8

@mmadwaite

EIGHT times? WTF? I found out that wife #2 had been married four times previously and have NEVER mentioned a word of ti when we dated. I only discovered AFTER the wedding when a relative of hers let it slip. Too late by then. It only took a few months to know why. She had BPD (also never told me) and went on to steal, gamble, drink, and cheat away my life savings and my business before I could stop her. The entire decline of everything was me getting the blame for ALL of it. She was pretty convincing. Even the marriage therapist took her side. But the receipts don't lie.

You can try to save that kind of relationship but it's just gonna be more of the same and worse. I finally left when she threatened my dog. Her words were "When I get home that dog had better be gone."

And he was.

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[13315]
Nov 8

@Narodnik57 narcissist are notorious for multiple marriages and rewriting history. I thought mine was two. He told me about the second but I guess I didn't follow the story very well. I found out before we got married but ignored it. I believed him when he smeared then. I knew my relationship was not healthy but married him anyway. I just thought we were fighting and everyone flights but there was more bad times then good. But he always knew how to suck me back in.

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Narodnik57's picture
[2335]
Nov 11

@Annep2018 My ex also claimed that I was the crazy one or, at the very least, driving her to it. One of the things to look for in people with personality disorders is the tendency to exaggerate and use hyperbolic terms for everything while having little ability to see middle ground. People are either wonderful or horrible and no in between. That applies to those they claim to love as well. In fact, I think they do feel love right up until they don't and then what was all wonderful becomes all terrible. I think it took just a few months after our wedding for me to see this clearly. I have had to alter my view of myself as well to avoid being vulnerable to predators like these. And yes, women narcissists do exist.

I'm not a professional psychologist BUT I always had the feeling my ex was never talking to me directly but repeating a well-rehearsed narrative just flexible enough to avoid falling into any truth traps. I was the audience and, if I did not applaud or enjoy the show, it became my fault that the act bombed.

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