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So this morning I made the mistake of engaging with my narc

[227370]

So this morning I made the mistake of engaging with my narc husband about his grown son, who is my step son, and his visit with the family. He told me he was having panic attacks the entire time he was here, and so I made the mistake of being compassionate and trying to empathise (my automatic nature to do) and so what do you think he did? He turned even my trying to empathize into an argument. Finally I asked him when is he planning on following through on moving out as he promised. He said he will not discuss leaving til I go for an analysis with a psychologist. So I told him I don't know what he is up to, and why he is pulling this now, but I will be happy to go to a professional, and he has to go too and I want it to be a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist. The reason I said that is I want someone who can diagnose all his mental illnesses and personality disorders along with the PTSD he caused me to have with his cheating, lying, and other traumas he put me through. Then he back peddles and gets this concerned look on his face and says no he wants to see a psychologist and not a psychiatrist. So I'm thinking I don't even know why or how I allowed myself to be led down this path, but the fact he didn't want to be diagnosed by a head doctor who is an MD, I'm thinking probably is because he knows he can't play someone who is the ideal for diagnosing those sorts of disorders and he knows he can trick a psychologist with his charm more easily. So then I said I'm also going to find one that specializes in NPD and the trauma he caused me to have and his face got even more concerned. But then he got really angry but he was trying to bluff he didn't care. So friends, what is your take on why he's pulling this now? We live in a no fault state. And I doubt he could have me committed even if I was mentally imbalanced, legally. I think at least in my state a person has to commit themselves, unless they try a suicide attempt. Plus people with mentally ill relatives are usually stuck with them permanantly because we have a crisis with regard to facilities for the mentally ill in our nation. My aunt who was my stepfather's stepsister, whose son was mentally ill (my cousin) told me she could never have him committed though she tried because it was so draining for her to live with. Also all our kids are grown so there would be no profit in it for custody issues. In fact I'm thinking if he could prove I was mentally unfit enough to not be able to work then it would only benefit me that he'd be more likely to be stuck with alimony. So why do you suppose he wants to have this done? Any takers?

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mmadwaite's picture
[21975]
Feb 6

That is so sad to think your kids would treat you like that.

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LivingOnAPrayer's picture
[7520]
Feb 7

So incredibly sad indeed.

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[227370]
Feb 7

Yea, and my narc husband talks about how all holy H**L would break loose if his mother died because his siblings would fight over the house and whatever is left and the fallout of dysfunction because of his narc mother dying. I always wonder why he would even fancy discussing the topic when it would never cross my mind my mother dying til she got sick and then when she did die my siblings and I were carefully treading to ensure we didn't fight over anything. Why would anyone wanna fantasize or speculate, I'm not really sure. Maybe I am just the crazy one.

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