So I am looking for a little advice. I recently just got out

So I am looking for a little advice. I recently just got out of a narcissistic relationship. I definitely think he was. I found out he was cheating online and that was last of it for me. He would always lie to me and told me I was paronoid when I thought he was cheating. But I found out and told the girl he was cheating on me with. He lied to her about many things like how successful he was and how he owned 3 cars. Yeah right! I want to believe he cared for me a little but all he did was manipulate me and called me sensitive. I really cared for him but he totally hurt me and it's hard to wrap my head around. He wrote me a couple days ago apologizing after not even admitting to what he did and giving me the silent treatment. I know I'm not the crazy one, but why does it feel like it? I never wrote him back and don't plan on it. Of course he says he realizes what he had now that it's gone. How do you guys heal through this? I still care but know I'm more worthy then how he treated me. It's just hard to get over. Thank you in advanced.

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dtay's picture
[8090]
Feb 13

Stay no contact that's the only way to heal. Sometimes we have to protect ourselves from ourselves. I know it sounds weird, but it's very easy to pick up the phone in a moment of weakness and then it's back to square one. A few weeks of good treatment and then it turns crappy again, leaving you feeling drained, depressed, and worse than before. It took a lot of discipline for me to remain no contact, feelings of anger when I wanted to call and scream and yell, feelings of 'love' when I wanted to make up. You'll go through all of that, but slowly it gets better and then you can deal with things better as you get a better perspective. Be your own best friend and think of yourself.

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[285]
Feb 13

Thank you guys! I definitely have my days of ups and downs and think about writing him back, but I know deep down where will that get me? I will just end up in the same place where he put me. You can never heal the environment you got sick in and that's what I try to remind myself everyday. I've been going to therapy to help me through this because it is pretty recent and it helps a lot. I know one day he'll try to come back and say he's changed because that's just who he is. I know I have to stick to what my heart tells me and that is to stay no contact. As much as it hurts everyday it is a blessing in disguise. I gave him chance after chance for many other things but this was where I drew the line. I hate thinking this may of not been the only time he was cheating, but sometimes you have to forgive to love yourself. I'm happy you told me to be my own best friend because two people told me that today. It's like what we all have to do to heal. I think talking with others who understand will help me overall.

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[285]
Feb 13

He*

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