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Prayers people! He’s moving in 5 houses away from me tomor

Prayers people! He’s moving in 5 houses away from me tomorrow just to continue to torture me! Starts getting custody too! Pray for my strength and that he doesn’t brainwash my kids!

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May 15, 2019

@triplen I can tell you from experience that having an ex nearby can be very beneficial. At first, while the wounds are still fresh, the sight of him is enough to make you feel ill. But if you use the time while the kids are with him to your own advantage, especially doing things like getting exercise so that you feel better, you will find that you can tolerate the situation. Then, over time, you will make your life better and better, while your ex's issues continue to cause trouble in his life. Everyone will see how much better off you are without him. You may end up actually feeling sorry for him. He is not going to change, whereas you can grow and be happy and thrive. He will always be the same old narc, living in a state of delusion, prone to N rage, and his life will reflect that. The best revenge is living well.

Also, in your divorce, use ALL of the leverage that you have. You may know things that provide leverage. If so, use it. You may be aware that your ex has forgotten something, which he needs to recall in order for something to go better for him. Do not remind him. Do not speak to him without a very good reason (this also deprives him of supply, which is a bonus). He makes you neither happy nor sad. You are a gray rock. Serve only your interests and your kids' interests, never his. It is hard to make the transition from wife to ex quickly. But the steps you take now have the potential to affect the rest of your life, and your kids' lives. If your ex is what divorce lawyers call "an evil doer" then you may be able to come out of the divorce much better than if you were splitting up without "cause." Is he in a hurry to get divorced? If so, that gives you leverage. Conversely, if you are in a hurry, do not show it. If you have any leverage that your lawyer is not using, then you might want to hire a more aggressive divorce lawyer. Think long term, and listen to your intuition. If your gut tells you that he will breach the agreement, fail to pay, etc., your gut is probably right, and you need to do what you can to prevent that, and include penalties for future wrongful behavior. The actions that you take now are important. You do not want to look back with regret. This is the time to be cool and calculating. Nothing that he does can distract you from your mission, which is to come out of this on top.

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May 16, 2019

@OnwardUpward I will try to make the best of the situation but it’s really raw right now. Plus, I’m getting the runaround with lawyers. I feel I have to be on top of everything and just feel like I’m losing it. I do appreciate the advice though.

LivingOnAPrayer's picture
May 16, 2019

@triplen Let's hope for that! I hope and pray someone sees him for what he truly is.


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