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My narcissistic mum has properly destroyed me. I feel like I

My narcissistic mum has properly destroyed me. I feel like I cant really keep going anymore, anywhere. When a kid, I was lucky enough to go to a boarding school yet I was always dreading holidays. And i wanted to marry as soon as i finished school just to belong to a different household, but thank the sky it never happened, because i realised that i cant marry simply for financial security and to use my husband as a shield from mum. Perfectly right reasoning I believe. But the whole trauma made me scarred of relationships alltogether because of the terrible experience in my own family.
I am not un any relationship, but the problem is my boss is the most awful narcissist possible and now I feel properly crushed. I have a degree from a top UK university but I dont want to work and I dont know how to work anymore. I believe in God, that is perhaps the only reason I keep existing. Supporters who are reading this... Thanks for existing!

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[8130]
Dec 21

I am responding before reading all you wrote. Yes I will email with you.. I am so guarded Anastasia because I have been hurt / the losses so much so I am very cautious but if I can be a mentor in a way for you that it would help I will email with you.
As I shared on another thread I am not one to communicate off forum hardly at all.. I guess for me it ends up often not working as well.. but I sense you need this/ and nothing is one way street, you are sweet person, educated, interesting so no way can I ever say that being there for someone is one sided. My brother is in town, I need to get ready for his stopping by...
Don't be afraid to walk Through the pain.
Your struggles are such God is aware.. HE is there. If you need me to I can communicate with you so you have someone to vent to privately..
I am in communication with my mom most days and this helps me to share, as we communicate pretty well and have things in common to talk about.. I have therapist about once a month and even though I am not sure how thorough it is, as only 1 hr, I know she is there for me to unload to, makes a HUGE difference.
You are strong, you are smart, very smart as to your IQ or you would not have accomplished what you have accomplished. Keep writing here also Anastasia.. what you are able to say here.. vent so others too can share with you. I don't mean to Tell you how to handle your life, you have to decide, but you say positive things about yourself & also your struggles which is very balanced..
I need to get ready for my day.. Hang in there. I will email.

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[8130]
Dec 21

I emailed you Anastasia.. Praying.. be strong OK? Type here too so we all can support you.
You are precious soul.. Remember people here need you too.. you have your own journey,
understanding/empathy to share.. Be Strong. God & The Holy Angels are watching over us.

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[1105]
Dec 21

I m really excited you have emailed. I really doubt, however, that people read our posts here, we write too much, its too long and complitacted! Is it not ? :)

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