This week's Topic: Giving yourself permission to be imperfect!!!

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My husaband is a narcissit. He has told me that he is done w

My husband is a narcissit. He has told me that he is done with me and ready to move on and says that its because I am selfish and I always put him last, which is completely ridiculous. I have done whatever I could to make his life easier and in reality he was the one putting everyone before me, including other women. It has been almost 2 months of barely speaking or seeing one another. After the first few weeks I started to get weak and was begging for him to stop this and take me back, which of course he loved me doing. Then I had a wake up call and was relieved he didnt agree to come back. I finally realized how badly he actually treated me all these years. he has lied to me numerous times, hid women from me, punished me with the silent treatment and would take off for days, he would verbally abuse me and tell me that I am the stupidest person he has ever met, and hated doing anything with me. I could do no right in his eyes. I dont know what it was that finally got me to see all of these things and to start standing up for myself and let him go for good. He has been a big part of my life and we have 2 kids together, but I know that this isnt love and that he has serious issues that will never be fixed. This past month I have been taking it day by day and I only contact him if I have to about the kids and he still finds a way to put me down and call me the worst names possible. Instead of this bringing me down it is actually giving me strength to keep moving forward. I do miss him at times but I know that I deserve 100 times better than what he was doing to me. I just pray that I can get the strength to get a divorce and be able to make a new life for me and my kids.

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[2445]
Jul 31

Emotional abuse is never okay. Gaslighting, lying, demeaning, verbally abusive behavior all fall under emotional abuse. There are many women who are in the same boat. And it is so difficult to see the abuse when you are so close to the person, but when you step away, it gives you a different perspective. My first husband used to gaslight me all the time. Cuss me out, destroyed alarm clocks and phones. Left me with no money and no car and no job with a 2 year old and a newborn, so he could go cheat on me for a while. I had to grow a backbone in order to protect my children and myself. It was hard. I loved him. I wanted things to work. But when the person is not grasping that what he is doing is harmful and doesn't understand he needs help, all you can do is protect your children and walk away. Many prayers.

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[5790]
Jul 31

I'm so glad you're able to see the light! He will treat his future girlfriends that exact same way. They never change. Abuse is abuse is abuse, sadly.

I wish you well in this new journey!

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kelly72's picture
[80650]
Jul 31

@MovedOn Such true words!

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