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Many of us here wonder; "Why am I staying? Why am I allowing

justforget's picture

Many of us here wonder; "Why am I staying? Why am I allowing abuse? Why can't I let it go? What is wrong with me?"...First of all there is nothing wrong with YOU or Me, in a sense, except for we were injured from childhood, all the way to adulthood, and all the way to an abuser in the present or recent past moment.

I want you to read this, because it's very important. People see the bodily injuries and they sympathize and support or understand. However the most painful wounds are the ones that are invisible, and no one cares to understand. Ignorance is what runs in the veins of majority. So read, and don't blame yourself. We just have to see what was, why, accept the bruises, the bloody broken pieces, and glue them together, and accept that we will never be the same, would not want to be the same, because as the saying goes: "We are all broken. That's how the light gets in."...And you know what the light is? Its us here, in the world, becoming more compassionate, understand the suffering thus the suffering of others more than anyone else can. It's sometimes beautiful what pain can do to character. Love you all....

"Someone who is traumatized is injured not indulging in a self-perpetuated victim mentality. For each abuse/trauma survivor there is damage done to the brain and body which causes symptoms. The complexity of the symptoms relates to the complexity of the injury. Long-term repeated traumatic experiences and abuse cause long-term traumatic symptoms.

Children who suffer from chronic abuse and trauma, without proper intervention, develop into adults who suffer from psychological and physical injuries we label as psychological disorders. These disorders can put adults at risk for re-traumatization when adequate intervention, safe housing and stability is not available.

I am sick of people acting as if they cannot digest the fact that childhood incest, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, bullying, physical abuse, homelessness and poverty have an impact on the brain. I have lost my ability to understand the mass amount of ignorance pertaining to the irrefutable evidence showing that childhood trauma severely impacts brain development and causes symptoms in adult survivors.

I also do not want to hear, from anyone, that they cannot understand Dissociative Identity Disorder because there is so much research on dissociation that anyone can realize the basis of it is to block out pain to survive. No one wants to realize the huge responsibility we have to acknowledge abuse in our society, to stop blaming the victim and begin advocating for safer communities, adequate abuse intervention and trauma-informed care. So many people have shoved so much ignorance and hate in my face over the fact that I am not what they believe I should be because of my symptoms.

Then go fight for the end of child abuse!! If you don't like what it did to me then go make sure that children are not raped, beaten, neglected, impoverished, psychologically abused, emotionally abused, bullied and ignored.Go make sure women have access to safe affordable housing in safe communities,stable jobs with living wages and legal ramifications for employers who violate our rights. Shame on all of you."

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May 19, 2017

I feel that no one is bad if they are not out of the relationship. It takes time to understand what is going on and to really believe it. I think deep down in our hearts we think they will change but that will never happen. xo

justforget's picture
May 19, 2017


Oh the comment never said that people were bad, not at all. It talks about damages done to many people that shaped their brain the way that the only coping mechanism they know has been based on survival. We just need to come out of that survival mode and it's pretty tough. Changing the beliefs is not an easy thing at all. It takes a lot of work to undo the damages unfortunately and some never get to that point...again unfortunately. Society needs to understand that, and never tell people to "Get over it"...sigh


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