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Just a random thought. It is so nice not to be crying over

Just a random thought. It is so nice not to be crying over the loss of the narcissist anymore. Some days I would cry uncontrollable. It took me 6 months to get to this point but feels really good. But random thought I had I never cried this much and this much over the loss of anyone including my dad and others close to me that died but I wasted so much time and energy mourning someone who truly never cared about me and wasn't worth my years. So messed up.

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[2865]
Feb 29

@canletgo222 my therapist in the past told me that counseling can help a person not be physically abusive for a few years but it is only temporary and that they continue to be emotionally and financially abusive. She said that the abusive person views their abusive behavior as normal behavior. I too was also mentally, emotionally and financially abused by my STBX. I ended up journalling about that. I read that journaling can help with coping with things. I also read that journaling can be used in divorce court. I wonder if anyone here has used journal entries as evidence in divorce court?

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[10645]
Feb 29

@decisionstomake I have heard other journal as well but not sure if they used in divorce court. I wish I did it during the relationship. My memory isn't what it used to be I think that's part of the effects of the abuse. I have tried to remember everything he ever said and for some reason I can't remember the exact words but remember how I felt.

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[2865]
Mar 1

@canletgo222 I also wished I journaled during marriage as well. I think sometimes the mind protects us from unpleasantries such as people calling us names, treating us poorly, overall just abusing us. You do remember how you felt though and know you don't want to feel that way again. I think my STBX gaslighted me so much and convinced himself about his own lies then tried to convince me of his lies that I needed to sort truth from lies. Maybe try journaling your feelings for now. You never know, doing that might open up the flood gates of things past said.

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