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It’s a painful thing when the narcissist in your life is t

It’s a painful thing when the narcissist in your life is the one thing you love the most and your are helpless to help them. Your daughter. I see she not only attacks me but every one around her that gives her love and support. She is not able to keep a relationship, yet blames everyone but herself. Her punishment for me is to stop contact, cut me out of family celebration and tell me we just can’t have a mother daughter relationship... until the next time. It’s painful to see your child hurting I know she lashes out out of her own pain. Her loneliness comes from her own narcissistic disorder. Getting to her is impossible. I have tried it’s not possible. I feel an incredible amount of loss knowing that I just have to disengage and set extreme boundaries. But I know I need help and support getting through this.

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[30]
Dec 2

It’s such a roller coaster. One day I’m her rock. The next day I don’t know my boundaries and we can’t have a relationship. She uses not speaking to me Ashe her weapon. She will speak to me when she is good and ready. Sometimes I don’t know what my crime has been. Walking on eggshells doesn’t begin to explain it. I have decided this time it will be my choice. Either we go to therapy together or no relationship. I’m not going to set myself up any longer. It will hurt but can’t possibly be any more hurtful that her words and actions.

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[286015]
Dec 2

Shall I assume this daughter of yours is an adult? My oldest daughter did that for awhile. She'd be standoffish and distant. Then she'd come around. It finally stopped when i got cancer. Now she's good as gold and doesn't play those games anymore. But she's in her 30s now. So I think it was an "I hate mom" phase she went through. My other daughter, also an adult, who used to be sweet as honey, has totally exiled me from her life, and hasn't spoken to me or answered my texts or emails in close to a year. She also had a full blown blog going to trash me and her sister online but I made her take it down. : ( It's kind of hard to know what to do, because as a mother you don't want your child to feel you've abandoned her, which could be damaging. But you don't wanna be walked all over either. So like every time a holiday or occasion comes up, I keep thinking, I don't even want to invite her. But everyone tells me, just invite her anyhow,even though I know she won't answer or come. I feel like a total dupe contacting her at this point. But you are going above and beyond the call of duty. I mean going to therapy with her when she's an adult. That's pretty huge. I hope it works out for you, that you two can somehow come to some sort of understanding. I really feel for your situation. It's difficult.

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[30]
Dec 3

Yes, my daughter is an adult. She is going to therapy. She invited me to one session, and that was to basically get her say out ( which were lies) I accepted since I didn’t want to cause an additional issue. The therapist did tell her that not speaking was a very bad communication skill and that it should not happen. That lasted all of 2 months. I worry about her she is 36 and has not been able to keep a relationship, for more than a year. They all end, She is a type one diabetic and I worry about her. As a mother I can only imagine you’d pain. Suffering through your cancer and not having your daughter to support you. I can only imagine. I’m so sorry. I’m trying to reach out for support, read books on narcissism and keep myself busy. I refuse to let her continue this pattern with me this time. As much as it will pain me. I have decided if and when she contacts me we either start weekly therapy together or there will be no contact. I will no longer be open to her abuse. When I was married to her father I suffered abuse at his hands for 14 years. Her reactions and words are getting to be reminders of his actions and abuse. Thank you for your kindness and support

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