I'm doing a lot of late night thinking and I'm really upset

I'm doing a lot of late night thinking and I'm really upset after today when I saw my ex narc on a dating site looking for a relationship. I'm on the same dating side for like hang outs and dates but mostly just conversation cause I'm lonely but hers said looking for a relationship and it bothers me cause we only ended it again a few days ago. On top of that I've been reading other people's posts about how their narc would try and get mad if they left them but mine always wanted to break up with me and only got mad when I finally said okay that's fine and ignored her. But for the past few months she just hasn't cared. I know she's probably finding other people which honestly hurts to think about because I know she'll never be faithful to anyone and it bothers me thinking some girl after me is gonna have her life turned upside down too. It's all so messed up. Also a question for anyone that might have similar experiences... my ex narc and me had a great sex life in the beginning she even had a higher drive than mine a lot of the times and then all of sudden like 6 months ago she started losing it and for the past 2-3 months or so we didn't have sex at all and she just said she lost her sex drive cause of all the "fights" we had. Was it because she was messing around with someone else? It's bothering me

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(15650)
Oct 5, 2017

I had a very similar experience. Same with the sex life. I noticed a pattern where he would break up with me and then become upset if I didn't beg and plead for him to reconsider. When I went no contact he lost it, but he tried to remain cool and calm as he tried to re-engage me...it was so bizarre. This is their pattern, it's how they treat other people. My ex is in his 50s and I don't see him ever changing, but he burns bridges and makes enemies in all areas of his life: relationships, friendships, professional connections, etc. If she's a narc, know that you did nothing wrong. You were just trying to have a loving relationship, and narcs aren't capable of connecting on that level. It's all smoke and mirrors, mind games, and buying time.

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(1030)
Oct 5, 2017

@Needtoknow71 honestly I made this mistake of saying something to her about it and she deleted the profile. And the sex thing I'm not sure she was messing around with other people cause she was always with me like all the time. I don't know where she'd find the time she always said she wasn't physical with the other girls she talked to. I don't think the break up would be messing me up as badly if it weren't for the cheating. That's always on my mind now

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(1030)
Oct 5, 2017

@GoingThru it's so odd she seems like she's completely fine with not speaking to me but yet she texted me this morning asking if she has my permission to move out of state in may with our dog because he's under my name legally and I told her that's fine. Last night I told her I can't pretend like I'm not resentful of her so we just need to not have any communication and we really don't need to keep talking. And she agreed yet felt the need to text me that this morning even tho it's a year away and she doesn't need my permission idk it's just weird

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