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If I am s certain in my decision to leave, why am I such a w

darwina's picture
[2010]

If I am so certain in my decision to leave, why am I such a wreck? Less than 2 weeks until I make my exit. After the incident last weekend where he forced himself on me it was like the final straw. I am now 100% certain I want to go. Everything is nearly in place. I'm scared out of my mind. And I'm just so down in the dumps that I wish I was dead. Can anyone relate?

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reds77's picture
[415]
Nov 9

@darwina Ihu but that's it, we have remorse and empathize for our actions they don't . I have really researched this disorder and as much as i'm trying to help you i'm helping myself I still hurt daily but we need to get out this is not healthy. there are days when you have the courage to do it and days when you doubt but stick to your gut instinct. 20 -22 years to give someone is a long time I cant sleep without my husband and he has not slept home for 2 mths now because he said he is working with this lady which later on I found out he is with her cause she has money .but he still want to hold on to me why? cause I supplied his needs for 22 yrs but now I know what I know I have toughen up and it brings tension yes but he feels nothing and is blaming me for everything even for being with her so when you think your hurting them your not they feel nothing even when they hurt you they see it as your fault.

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reds77's picture
[415]
Nov 9

@darwina your certain you want to leave that's the answer do it and don't think about it they don't care for anyone your son feeds his narcissism giving him attention I know cause I have 2 girls one is quiet and submissive and the other is outspoken and sometimes stubborn and he told then he has a favourite one. which one do you think he chose. the one he can feed from so don't think he missing his son he missing the attention your son gives him. don't back out of your decision save your son and your self don't let you son grow up in that environment that's not hw a man should treat his wife or any woman or human being teach your son what is right get out don't think of a less cruel way he will blame you anyway so do what you have to do to keep your child and yourself safe

Reply
[60]
Nov 9

Leave. It will be hard to not look back and want your life back. But do it. I'm in the same boat now. Its harder than anything. I feel like I'm the one who messed up. But I remember everything. I know hes wrong and I'm not. His actions don't make sense. His excuses dont make sense. Hes making everything miserable. But we can get past it! We are strong! We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be ourselves. We shouldn't have to hide. We shouldn't have to cry. It will get better. Starting over is hard. But it's worth it.

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